Sherlock Holmes: Case of De Speckled Band
October 19, 1988
Banner Reading Class
~Rewritten from the finale’ of the later half of the Case…
Holmes: Quickly, Watson! Roylott’s room!
As they slam open the door, Roylott is found picking his nose.
Roylott: What are you doing here Holmes?
Holmes crosses to Roylott’s desk.
Holmes: The question is, what are you doing here so late in the night with a snake whistle?!
Roylott: Where did you just come from, the out-house, Holmes??!
As they begin to argue, a snake crawls through the vent.
Watson: By Jove! Great Scott! Good Heavens! Holy cow! Gee, gosh it’s the snake!
Holmes: Stop studdering man! Waths gonnen on…?
Holmes can barely speak as he struggles to get the snake off his neck.
Holmes: Uggggggg! Roythsluttt, yuth ever git awau!
Roylott grabs a gun as Watson charges.
Watson: Bouncing bullets, no you don’t Roylott!
Just then a cheetah runs through, knocking the desk and Watson out the window.
Roylott: Ha Holmes! Looks like your caught with your pants down!
Water starts to fill the room rapidly, and Holmes throws the snake onto Roylott.
Holmes: Why don’t you just stick that gun up your nose! You are going to jail Roylott!
Roylott knocks the snake off, and aims again. The cheetah runs out into the hall.
Roylott: Me going to jail is as likely as you shutting your mouth! Its not going to happen! Hahhahahahhahahah! Hahaaaaaaaaaaa ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh …..
Roylott falls to the water as the snake bites him in the butt. Holmes pulls him out, but its too late. Holmes goes to the window and looks down. Watson hangs from a flag pole.
Holmes: My dear Watson, get up here! We are missing tea-time old chap!
After Watson gets up, they wade through the water, knocking the snake aside.
Watson: Where is Roylott, Holmes?
Holmes: Im afraid Roylott kicked the bucket.
Holmes: Never mind.
Watson: What is all this water?
Holmes: Let’s go find out, shall we?
They follow the water to the bathroom. They open the door.
Holmes: The baboon is in the water closet!
They are surprised to see the toilet over-flowing with the baboon inside holding his nose.
Watson: What’s he doing Holmes?
Holmes: Elementary my dear Watson, elementary.
Watson: Do you mean that he went to the Loo?
Holmes: No he is representing “smell no evil”!
Fireworks go off, Holmes begins to dance, and Motely Crue starts playing.