The Last Battle

The following is an account of the last story written about The Land of Mon. It is also perhaps our only remaining tale of that World. The originals written and drawn by Sir Mongold were lost to us. This journal, entry by entry, records the last surviving tale of  the Monstors.

To avoid social persecution, Sir Mongold told others that he had “made it up” and Monstors were all imaginary. Yet stories held in memory or recorded, all exist at some point in time. Time is eternal, beyond human memory, therefore nothing is forgotten. Things remembered are real, even if they only exist in thought.

Part 1

“Attack!!!” could be heard for miles around as a squad of Distructors destroyed the Great Woven Wall. The attack was led by the cold hearted Bird Mon. The Distructors’ heavily armored battering ram pounded against the wall like a mallet beating fresh meat. Quickly the Distructors disposed of the Treeple’s ‘Great’ wall, with fury.

While inside their Tree Village, the Treeple lit signal cannons. From atop the forest canopy the signal flares shot! Help would soon be on the way, but not soon enough. The Leader of the Treeple, T, had already fallen defending the Great Woven Wall.

“Show me where the Jewels of the Light Forest are!” Bird Mon said as he lifted T from the remains of the broken wall.

“You shall get nothing from me, Bird that cannot fly!” was the reply of T.

“Not all Birds can fly, you know!” Bird Mon shot back. He was self-conscious about his lack of wings. He did however, have a long pointy beak, which was good for pecking.

Before the Distructors could locate any of the Treeple treasure they had come to pillage, the Monstors arrived from Castle Monstoria, to the rescue. The Treeple were allies of the Monstors. Bird Mon turned to retreat. Just then Whip Mon and 5 other Monstors burst into the clearing and surrounded the Distructors.

“We came for the Jewels, Whip Mon!” said Bird Mon. “If you move, I’ll kill T.”

“You bad guys are all the same!” Whip Mon said as he came closer. “I bet you don’t even realize how important the Jewels are.”

“Are you saying that I don’t know how important the Jewels are?” Bird Mon said as anger filled his tone.

“Yes. It is important to know how important the Jewels are,” said Whip Mon.

“Why is it so important?”

“Hah, I told you, you didn’t know the jewels were important!”

“I know the Jewels are important, I just didn’t know how important the Jewels were important!!” Bird Mon was getting confused.

“If you didn’t know how important the Jewels were, why did you come here in the first place??!!”

As the conversation went on, Distructor Hammer Head slipped away. He headed toward the great doors of an oak tree nearby. He opened the doors, and behold!! This was where the Jewels were kept. In a 50 by 50 foot room sat shelves and shelves covered with jewels of all kinds!! The Jewels sparkled with magic light within the tree. In the corner was even a jewel embroidered chainmail shirt. In the middle of the room, placed on a golden stand, sat the Jewel of Power! Next to it, on a silver stand was the All-mighty Diamond. Near that on a crystal stand lay the Amber Amulet.

Hammer Head was so stunned by the beauty of the gems he didn’t notice Blow Torch sneaking up behind him. The Monstor Blow Torch grabbed him and said, “Ok Cardboard Box Brain, you’ve seen enough! Let’s go see the Whip Mon.”

Meanwhile Whip Mon was still mentally flailing Bird Mon’s brain…

“If you came to find out how important the Jewels are important, how come you didn’t bring Fox Mon along?! He could learn a thing or two.”

By this time Bird Mon was just absurdly mad. Bird Mon broke his own weapon in two. Then he went around and took the other Distructors’ weapons and snapped them like twigs. His men stared at him, and then eachother blankly. It was then that Bird Mon realized they were now defenseless.

The Distructors were soon tied up (including Hammer Head). They were submitted to Treeple speeches, which were usually long and about environmental spiritual ethics. Then the captives were released to walk back to Spider Tower in their underwear.


“Bird Mon, you fool!!” Fox Mon shouted, echoing through the halls of Spider Tower.

Bird Mon looked down his beak at his own feet. He was home, and that was all that mattered. Bird Mon grew up in the lair once known as Spider Mountain. Over the years, a tower was built on the rocky crest, and battered pyramid parapet walls extended out from the mountain castle on 3 sides. Locals knew it as Spi, a name too familiar to be used respectfully by strangers to the area.

“Bird Mon, you always mess things up!” Fox Mon yelled. “I should feed you to the spiders! The new batch has just hatched.”

“Bu bu u u…” Bird Mon studdered, “I am still training them not to bite us.”

“Ha! Go put some clothes on your undergarments, or I will use you to help fatten them up. Although they are still small for giant spiders, there are 100 of them. Now off you go! I will prepare for the next attack on the Monstoria.”


All creatures in the Land of Mon, were Mon. Monstors, monstars, and monsters were all Mon. Monstors and monstars were good, and monsters were bad; but they were all Mon, and therefore looked very similar to eachother. Most Mon had green skin, but there was great diversity among Mons. Some had horns, some did not. No eyes, one eye, or many eyes; arms or tentacles; there was no rule about appearance. All Mon were free to look any way, without judgment.

The Monstors of the Kingdom of Monstoria were the guardians of Good Stories, and the stewards of all things within their realm. Their realm included the Light Forest & Light Fields (Monstaria), all of which was surrounded by the Dark Forest, Dark Fields, and outlying kingdoms (Monsteria). In ancient times Distructors were Monstors, but after years of separation, and living in Monsteria, they had become generally grouped with all chaotic Monsters.

One such outlying kingdom of Monsters, Bog, was home to the Swamp Mons. From their murky depths, they had heard distant warnings hanging in the silence. Swamp Mons cared nothing for noise, they only found meaning in the sounds of silence. What the silence was now telling them, was very disturbing; and they began to travel out.

The Treeple were rebuilding their Great Wall. They would never again let their lair be invaded by Distructors. They added masonry to the new weaving, and placed battlements to watch for enemies. The new Great Wall was now 4 feet tall, and 1 foot thick.


Back at Spider Tower, plans were being made. “Here’s the plans,” Fox Mon said. “Dragon Mon, go into the Dark Forest and search for the Freckled Ogre. See if he wants to join us. Hammer Head, ready the lightning sleds. Bird Mon, go ask Rock Mon if he wants to join us too. I will contact the Giant Worms of the East. Everyone get ready!”

Within hours, another gathering was held. “Ok, we have everyone here,” Fox Mon said. “Attention maggots! I will take Hammer Head, the Freckled Ogre, the spiders, and half our army. Giant Worms will take a direct route and chew out the roots of Monstaria, and the foundations of Monstoria. Bird Mon will go north along the Treeple Great Wall with Dragon Mon, Rock Mon, and the other half of our army.”

The Distructors set out in full force, with Fox Mon’s blessings. “Worms, go and seek the roots Monstaria and foundations of Monstoria! Lightning sleds off, my army move, Dragon Mon and Bird Mon good luck! Onward to battle!!! Do not stop until Monstoria is destroyed!! Let this be the Last Battle!!!” Fox Mon howled.

News had reached the Monstors and Monstars of the Distructors’ attack. The Monstors assembled their own army. From Monstaria they had Treeple, unicorns, song birds, sprites, treelves, fairies, nomes, nobleflies, damselflies, and logmon. There was also talk that Swamp Mons and Great Hawks would join them, but that was uncertain.

Swamp Mons were immortal, and all shared the same soul. The Soul of the Swamp was communal among them, so the total population count could never be known. Swamp Mons were part of the primordial ooze that all Mon evolved from. For the most part they were chaotic neutral, but in cases of defending the ecosystem they were lawful neutral.

Great Hawks were giant red tailed hawks. They perched on the giant black trees that surrounded Talon Mountain. Also along the cliffs of the mountain, were ledges with Giant Hawk nests. Inside Talon Mountain, the great birds had a great hall, with a chief.

Along the outermost city wall of Monstaria, the Monstors’ army lined up. Whip Mon was not a slave driver, but he kept order among individuals for the greater good. He would not allow a siege to occur, and he would not give control to Fox Mon and the Distructors without a fight. Many Monstars like treevles, treeple, and nomes rode on the backs of unicorns, and other larger or faster beasts. Much of the army could fly, thanks to sprites, fairies, flying bugs, and some Monstors.

[End of Part 1]

[To read the full story, buy my Kindle book “Stories of Fiction, Fantasy, and Adventure” (coming in 2010)]


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