Archive for October, 2010

Shire Rumours of the Hobbit

Posted in Film Reviews, Individuals / Members / Monsters / Creative Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 17, 2010 by Drogo

Martin Freeman is Bilbo Baggins in Jackson’s new HOBBIT Film.

Casting is taking place now, and filming is projected to start in 2011.

Martin Freeman is to play Bilbo Baggins, the reluctant but adventurous Hobbit. Freeman was brilliant as a similar character in The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.

Richard Armitage (Captain America: The First Avenger) = Thorin Oakenshield

Aidan Turner (Being Human) = Kili

Rob Kazinsky (EastEnders) =  Fili

John Callen (Power Rangers Jungle Fury) = Oin

Peter Hambleton (The Strip) = Gloin

Graham McTavish (Secretariat) = Dwalin

Mark Hadlow (King Kong) = Dori

Stephen Hunter (All Saints) = Bombur

Sylvester McCoy = Ratagast

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Ian McKellan and Andy Serkis are expected to reprise Gandalf and Gollum.

Frodo (and the actor that played him) may return also to show context for the authors of the “Red Book of Westmarch”. Arwen (Tyler) may return in her role at Rivendell. Stephen Fry, Saoirse Ronan and Bill Nighy (as the voice of the dragon Smaug) are possible participants, and Aiden Turner was in contention for the Elf King before he got the role of Fili.

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Drogo’s Guide to Alcohol

Posted in Individuals / Members / Monsters / Creative Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 16, 2010 by Drogo

Rubbing Alcohol – used on skin cuts and scrapes to sanitize

Grain Alcohol –  moonshine, white lightning, pure alcohol meant for the highest level of intoxicating drink; but so combustible it can be used as carbureted engine fuel, lamp oil, or as rubbing alcohol; it is the basic distillation of grains used in whiskey, gin, etc…

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Liquors

6 Bottles & Mystery Decanter fit inside a 10″ x 10″ Cabinet

(Firewater, Kahlua, Rum, Vodka, Scotch Whiskey, Sherry, Decanter)

[ 750 ml tall & thin bottles; cheap and compact $10-$20 ]

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Favorite Liquors (in order of preference):

1. Firewater (Cinnamon Schnapps Liqueur, hard sweet)

2. Sherry (Wine Liqueur, smooth sweet) “Fortified Wine”

3. Brandy (Wine Spirits, hard sweet) “Burnt Wine”

4. Rum (Sugar Molasses Spirits, hard sweet)

5. Kahlua (Coffee Liqueur, smooth sweet)

6. Whiskey (Grain Spirits): Scotch, Bourbon, Wisky (hard bitter)

7. Vodka (Potato or Grain Spirits, hard hard)

8. Tequila (Agave plant, hard bitter)

9. Gin (grain & juniper, spirits & citrus liqueur, hard bitter)

10.Peppermint Schnapps (Liqueur, hard sweet)

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6 Basic Home Cabinet Liquors

1.  Rum (Sugar Molasses Spirits; hard sweet)

2.  Whiskey (Grain Spirits: Scotch, Bourbon, Wisky; hard bitter)

3.  Vodka (Potato or Grain Spirits; hard pure)

4.  Gin (grain & juniper, spirits & citrus liqueur; hard bitter)

5.  Tequila (Agave plant; hard bitter)

6.  Liqueurs (Schnapps, Sherry, Brandy; smooth sweet)

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Note on Nicknames: The name for Whiskey comes from the Celtic “Uisge Beatha” meaning “Water of Life”. It was commonly called simply “Uske” for “Water”, which led to the pronunciation being spelled the way we do now. It was common for alcohol to be called “Water”, “Water of Life”, “Fire Water”, and “Dew”, as well as other nicknames that are not variations on ‘water’.

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Fortified Wines include: port, sherry, madeira, marsala, and vermouth

The original reason for fortifying wine was to preserve it, since ethanol is a natural antiseptic. Also adding Liquors to Wines adds distinct flavors to the finished product, and makes the Wine stronger with a higher alcohol content, while retaining the wine flavor. Sherry is wine & brandy mixed.

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Wines:

1.  Chablis  (sweet)

2.  Martha’s Vineyard

3.  Zinfandel (light white)

4.  Port  (heavy sweet)

5.  Cabaret Sauvignon (smooth sweet)

6.  Sangria (sweet tangy)

7.  Merlot (heavy bitter red)

8. Champaign

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Beer, Ales, Lagers:

1.  Genius  (Stout Beer)

2.  Samuel Adams (heavy Lager)

3.  Rolling Rock  (pale beer)

4.  Irish Red Ale (heavy ale)

5.  Black & Tan (combined heavy and pale ale)

6.  Other American Piss-Water “Beers” (Natural Ice, Coors, Miller, Mich, Bud, etc…)

Tombstone Epitaphs of Dark Humor

Posted in Memorials / Obituaries / Epitaphs, Poems, Rhymes, Riddles with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 14, 2010 by Drogo

Tombstone Epitaphs (Comic Horror)

Written by Drogo Empedocles

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BEGURKLE

Alex Begurkle in peace sleeps below,

for he tried to reach the bathroom but was far too slow.

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R.I.P.  SAM GREMBLE

Sam Gremble is here lying at rest,

he barfed to death while taking a test.

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Here lies NEL WEEKS …

He was just one of those freaks.

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Buried beneath is Susan McCall

while playing a game she swallowed the ball.

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Curled up in soil is Mat Grit,

who fell from a building and did a split.

******

Funny Epitaphs From Real Graves

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It was a Cough

That carried him Off

It was a Coffin

They Carried him Off In

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(On an attorney’s tombstone:)

Goembel, John E.

1867-1946

“The defense rests”

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Here lies Johnny Yeast.

Pardon me For not rising.

Ruidoso, New Mexico

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Jebediah Goodwin

Auctioneer

Born 1828 Going! Going!! Gone!!! 1876

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Stranger tread

This ground with gravity.

Dentist Brown

Is filling his last cavity.

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Effie Jean Robinson

1897-1922

Come blooming youths,

as you pass by, on these lines do cast an eye.

As you are now, so once was I;

As I am now, so must you be;

Prepare for death and follow me.

(Graffiti response: To follow you

I am not content, How do I know

Which way you went.)

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Here lies Lester Moore.

Four slugs

From a forty-four.

No Les

No More.

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Here lies Johnny Cole.

Who God rest his soul,

While chewing his crust

Was turned into dust.

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Bill Blake

Was hanged by mistake.

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Here lays Butch McGraw.

He was quick on the trigger

But slow on the draw.

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Here lies the body

Of Margaret Bent

She kicked up her heels

And away she went.

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She got a fish-bone

Stuck in her throat

and never sang

another note.

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Here lies Athiest, John Doe

All dressed up and no place to go!

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I told you I was sick!

12 Days of Halloween

Posted in Arts (Design & Performance), Song Lyrics & Analysis with tags , , , , , , , , , , on October 12, 2010 by Drogo

The 12 Days of Halloween

On the first day of Hallowe’en
My true love gave to me
An owl in a rotten oak tree

On the second day of Hallowe’en
My true love gave to me
Two trick or treaters
And an owl in a rotten oak tree

On the third day of Hallowe’en
My true love gave to me
Three black cats
Two trick or treaters
And an owl in a rotten oak tree

On the fourth day of Hallowe’en
My true love gave to me
Four skeletons
Three black cats
Two trick or treaters
And an owl in a rotten oak tree

On the fifth day of Hallowe’en
My true love gave to me
Five scary spooks!
Four skeletons
Three black cats
Two trick or treaters
And an owl in a rotten oak tree

On the sixth day of Hallowe’en
My true love gave to me
Six goblins gobbling
Five scary spooks!
Four skeletons
Three black cats
Two trick or treaters
And an owl in a rotten oak tree

On the seventh day of Hallowe’en
My true love gave to me
Seven pumpkins glowing
Six goblins gobbling
Five scary spooks!
Four skeletons
Three black cats
Two trick or treaters
And an owl in a rotten oak tree

On the eighth day of Hallowe’en
My true love gave to me
Eight monsters shrieking
Seven pumpkins glowing
Six goblins gobbling
Five scary spooks!
Four skeletons
Three black cats
Two trick or treaters
And an owl in a rotten oak tree

On the ninth day of Hallowe’en
My true love gave to me
Nine ghosts a-booing
Eight monsters shrieking
Seven pumpkins glowing
Six goblins gobbling
Five scary spooks!
Four skeletons
Three black cats
Two trick or treaters
And an owl in a rotten oak tree

On the tenth day of Hallowe’en
My true love gave to me
Ten ghouls a-groaning
Nine ghosts a-booing
Eight monsters shrieking
Seven pumpkins glowing
Six goblins gobbling
Five scary spooks!
Four skeletons
Three black cats
Two trick or treaters
And an owl in a rotten oak tree

On the eleventh day of Hallowe’en
My true love gave to me
Eleven casks a-leaning
Ten ghouls a-groaning
Nine ghosts a-booing
Eight monsters shrieking
Seven pumpkins glowing
Six goblins gobbling
Five scary spooks!
Four skeletons
Three black cats
Two trick or treaters
And an owl in a rotten oak tree

On the twelfth day of Hallowe’en
My true love gave to me
Twelve bats a-flying
Eleven casks a-leaning
Ten ghouls a-groaning
Nine ghosts a-booing
Eight monsters shrieking
Seven pumpkins glowing
Six goblins gobbling
Five scary spooks!
Four skeletons
Three black cats
Two trick or treaters
And an owl in a rotten oak tree

Japanese Words

Posted in Languages with tags , , , , , , on October 11, 2010 by Drogo

Drogo’s favorite Japanese Words

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yes – hai

 

no – eiyae

 

good afternoon / day – konnichi wa

 

good evening – konban wa

 

good bye – sayonara

 

thank you (very much) – domo (oregato)

 

please – dozo

 

call – denwa

 

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school – gakko

 

class – jikyo

 

friend – tomodachi

 

blackboard – kokuban

 

pencil – empitsu

 

paper – kami

 

after school class – juku

 

small work group – han

 

straw mat – tatami

 

apartment building – danchi

 

pinball machine – panchinko

 

Japanese writing character – kanji

 

warrior – samurai

 

warlord – shogun

 

foreigners – gaikokujin

 

cashier – kaikei

 

cash – genkin

 

uketori – receipt

 

today – kyo

 

yesterday – kino

 

bath – basu

 

book – hon

 

car – jidosha

 

chewing gum – mu

 

rain – ame

 

cloud – kumo

 

fog – kiri

 

wind – kaze

 

hot – atsui

 

fire – kaji

 

man – hitori

 

cow – meushi

 

crab – kani

 

ant – ari

 

fly – hae

 

earth – chikyu

 

teeth – ha

 

diving – tobikomi

 

wise – kashikoi

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CAHOKIA: North America’s Largest Woodhenge & Temple Mound

Posted in Historic Architecture, Pagan with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 11, 2010 by Drogo

CAHOKIA MOUNDS PARK

Cahokia Mounds is currently a State Historic Site. Cahokia is the area of an ancient city built around 600–1400 CE. It is near present day Collinsville, Illinois across the Mississippi River from St. Louis, Missouri.

The Cahokia Mounds were named after a clan of historic Illiniwek people living in the area when the first French explorers arrived in the 17th century. As this was centuries after Cahokia was abandoned by its original inhabitants, the Cahokia were not necessarily descendants of the original Mississippian people. The city’s original name is unknown.

The 2,200 acre site originally included 120 man-made earthwork mounds over an area of six square miles, although only 80 survive. Cahokia Mounds is the largest archaeological site related to the Mississippian Late Woodland culture, which developed advanced societies in North America, centuries before the arrival of Europeans.

It is a National Historic Landmark and designated site for state protection. In addition, it is one of only twenty UNESCO World Heritage Sites in the territory of the United States. It is the largest American Indian earthen construction in the Americas north of Mexico.

They used woven baskets to move most of the earth to build the mounds and plazas. In every culture there are usual social, political, spiritual, and defense reasons to place buildings on raised bases. In the case of Cahokia, there is an added reason: the site is on a flood plain near the Mississippi River.

Monks Mound

Monks Mound is the largest structure and central focus of the city. It is a massive mound with four terraces, 10 stories tall, and the largest man-made earthen mound north of Mexico. Facing south, it is 92 feet high, 951 feet long and 836 feet wide.

Excavation on the top of Monks Mound has revealed evidence of a large building, likely a temple used by the Chief and shaman for residence and public functions. This building was about 105 feet long and 48 feet wide, and could have been as much as 50 feet high. It was about 5,000 square feet.

Cahokia Woodhenge

This woodhenge, like others found in Europe, was a circle of posts used for cosmic alignments relevant to agriculture. It stood to the west of Monk’s Mound. Archaeologists discovered Woodhenge during excavation, and noted that the placement of posts marked solstices and equinoxes. Woodhenge was rebuilt several times during the urban center’s roughly 300-year history. There were probably other woodhenges in America over the centuries, as one was discovered near Mound 72, south of Monks Mound.

A beaker found in a pit near the winter solstice post bore a circle and cross symbol that for many Native Americans symbolizes the Earth and the four cardinal directions. Radiating lines probably symbolized the sun, as they have in countless other civilizations. During excavation of Mound 72, archaeologists found a birdman burial for a leader, and 250 other skeletons from around 1000 CE. Other mounds had workshops for copper smiting and trading.

Mad Magazine’s Violent Mother Goose

Posted in Poems, Rhymes, Riddles, Short Faerie's Tails, Song Lyrics & Analysis with tags , , , , , , , , , on October 10, 2010 by Drogo

from Mad Magazine’s “Violent Mother Goose”

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THIS IS THE FILM THAT JACK MADE

 

This is the girl who’s blown away

Whose in the film that Jack made

 

This is the creep who stalks his prey

Who blasts the girl whose blown away

Who’s in the film that Jack made

 

This is the ax that splits the head

That’s swung by the creep who stalks his prey

Who blasts the girl whose blown away

Who’s in the film that Jack made

 

This is dude who winds up dead

From getting the ax that splits the head

That’s swung by the creep who stalks his prey

Who blasts the girl whose blown away

Who’s in the film that Jack made

 

This is the Salesman from Omaha

Who calls on the dude who winds up dead

From getting the ax that splits the head

That’s swung by the creep who stalks his prey

Who blasts the girl whose blown away

Who’s in the film that Jack made

 

This is the handy electric saw

That slices the Salesman from Omaha

Who calls on the dude who winds up dead

From getting the ax that splits the head

That’s swung by the creep who stalks his prey

Who blasts the girl whose blown away

Who’s in the film that Jack made

 

This is the carnage of blood and gore

That’s made by the handy electric saw

That slices the Salesman from Omaha

Who calls on the dude who winds up dead

From getting the ax that splits the head

That’s swung by the creep who stalks his prey

Who blasts the girl whose blown away

Who’s in the film that Jack made

 

These are the profits of bucks galore

That come from the carnage of blood and gore

That’s made by the handy electric saw

That slices the Salesman from Omaha

Who calls on the dude who winds up dead

From getting the ax that splits the head

That’s swung by the creep who stalks his prey

Who blasts the girl whose blown away

Who’s in the film that Jack made

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On the Way to Saint Ives

As I was going to Saint Ives,

I met a man with seven knives

49 hand grenades,

343 razor blades,

2,401 axes…

Axes, blades, grenades, and knives;

How many different ways to die?

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Jack Sprat

Jack Sprat can swing his bat

his wife can spray her mace;

he’ll smack her hard

when she’s off-guard;

she’ll spritz him in the face.

Jack Sprat is knocked out flat,

his wife the worst of sights,

though bitter foes

at least it shows

they’re into equal rights.

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