Archive for the relationships Category

The Decline of American White Men

Posted in Critical Commentary of Civilization, Economics, jobs, Medical, Military, news, relationships, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 5, 2019 by Drogo

Post-Modern White Male Destruction: Causes of Our Resentment, Anger, & Despair

American white men are self-destructing more than ever before since WW2 due to a return to Great Depression economic poverty for the masses, and most of our wealth going to the rich elites. We comprise a large percentage of the US population, but despite not being a minority, we are increasingly killing ourselves and others in a desperate struggle to maintain our ‘dominant legacy’ (social profile expectations based on cultural history). If you know white men who are acting more desperate, hooked on hard meth or heroin, and more masochist and sadistic please know it is not just you, it is part of a systemic problem that has to do with self worth decline compared to the last generation. Decreasing wealth for white men, compounded by mortgage and student debt which decimated the middle-class after years of subjugation working for free to fund institutions, we find ourselves less likely to support ourselves, and certainly not mates or family dependents. These problems of expectation affect our honor, and we hate ourselves and want to blame other poor people within shooting range. Before debating this issue, it is important to study the statistics of sustainability.

More people die from poverty than terrorism. According to TED speaker Dan Gilbert, more people die from poverty than if a terrorist detonated a nuke; statistically ‘Why We Make Bad Decisions‘.  Also ‘Poverty isn’t a lack of character; it’s a lack of cash‘ according to Rutger Bregman, and other humanists.  [ Poverty stats ]

Mass incarceration does not help. Even if blacks are proportionately in prison more, we have more of our whole population in jail than any other country. Between 1980 and 2015, the number of people incarcerated in America increased from roughly 500,000 to over 2 million. The Bureau of Justice Statistics reports that 35% of state prisoners are white, 38% are black, and 21% are Hispanic. Our national population of poverty is enforced with taxes that pay for the prisons, police, and military. [ Stats of mass incarceration: NAACP ‘Criminal Justice Facts‘;  Sentencing Project;  USA has the largest ‘Prison Population‘ in the World (click on the chart to sort = 2,121,600) ]

Yes meth and heroin are largely a white people problem. ‘Christian White Men’ are more likely to use those hard drugs in poverty today. [ Stats for drug addiction: AAC; MH Race Stats for Drug Addiction; NIH ‘Drug Treatment Facts‘; NCBI Race & Gender Studies

Our average life span has been reduced according to critical studies. Men already died younger on average than women, but now whites in general are living shorter lives, despite medical advances. [ NPR ‘Deaths of Despair’ ]

Poverty causes many to join the Military, where we still feel suicidal despite guaranteed pay and benefits; because the ‘War On Terror’ is perpetual and demoralizing (see MIC). Never forget all the soldier suicides during the endless war on terror. Since 2001 apx 22 die a day (144,000+) RIP. Women are more likely to report mental fatigue, so that needs to be accounted for in the raw data; because men are more likely to act out rather than report themselves for problems (‘macho pride’ social stereo-type issue). [ Veteran Suicides by State ‘Once A Soldier’; Veteran Suicide Hotline 1-800-273-8255; ‘Playing with War Wisdom‘ ]

Yes Trump is a symptom of our problem.  [ ‘REAL Reasons For Trump’s Impeachment‘ Redacted Tonight; Trump is a con-artist scamming bigoted rapist Chump ]

Yes mass shootings are symptoms of our problems. ‘Christian White Men’ are terrorists more often than Muslims or anyone else in America. [ Statistics of Mass Shootings by Race ]

Access to guns and explosives for psychotic men in every state, with no substantial health care plan for mental illness does not help.  [ Gun & Explosive stats – ATF ]

Less jobs paying a living wage, relative to the cost of living, is at the heart of our problem [Michael Moore’s films; Noam Chomsky’s ‘Requiem for the American Dream‘]. Companies prefer to use migrant workers who work for less (and automation), rather than pay middle-class wages. Capitalist corporations corrupt government against the good of the people (aka general population). Despite all these problems with our system, there is some hope for us to increase our standards of living proposed by the Next System Project (NSP), Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (AOC), and Bernie Sanders with the Green New Deal.  [ NSP Democratic Investment Bank; AOC GND; Sanders’ GND ]

Speak out about the larger problems, and surprise neo-fascist racists by explaining why minorities are not to blame for big problems that affect the majority of the population (which includes minorities). Surprise! Our economic problems are not solved by race wars, although the rich elites who own corporations are fine with neo-fascists like Trump because race wars benefit them. Be smart, don’t blame race for a plutocratic system that keeps us all down. We all benefit when we come together and cooperate to make change as ‘We The People’!

[ AUDIO Recording of this essay ]

 

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Yo Soy Yo Mismo

Posted in Ethics & Morals, Poems, Poems, Rhymes, Riddles, relationships, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on June 3, 2019 by Drogo

Yo soy yo mismo – I am myself

I am married to Freedom, and she knows me for who i am. We were married when i became an adult, and our wedding vows were made with each heart break. I am loyal to my friends, and mostly to the best of them, but no one owns or controls me. Those who live with each other are part of each other’s lives, and no promises or betrayals are needed for patterns of behavior to be known. To love Freedom is a game of release, without cheating because there are no jealous hateful rules for others to enforce.

Poem on Death or Loss

Posted in dreams, Memorials / Obituaries / Epitaphs, Poems, Poems, Rhymes, Riddles, relationships, Spiritual, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , on April 26, 2019 by Drogo

My gardens, my pets, my friends, my family… those I lose are still with me every day and every night. i still see, hear, and feel them around me and inside me. im always reminded of those things that make me who i am. the things i lose are alive in my dreams or in the presence of other things. Sometimes my dreams of my dead father being alive feel very real. To be remembered is not a depressing concept it is the dying and absence aspects that hurt; but only in forgetting is there absence of our conscious minds; but that is limited absence in the totality of being. 

– Drogo

Heart Matters More Than Mind

Posted in Ethics & Morals, Psychology, Rationality & Logic, relationships, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , on April 5, 2019 by Drogo

This theme of ‘love vs intelligence’ probably first became an issue for me from studying the fantasy works about Oz, regarding the Tin Man and the Scarecrow. It also involved arguing with dad about having ‘stupid friends’ who were not very smart. my gentle giant friend Fruity would admit he was not very ‘book smart’; he would do stupid stuff to amuse me to show how strong he was. Dad and i debated about whether i could have friends that were mentally challenged; defined by IQ, or speech, or behavior, or even looks i suppose. humility in a personality makes me sympathetic; what comes to mind for examples are caring for a pet or care-giving for an ‘idiot’ or foolish loved one. So taken to extremes: Heart (Compassion) symbolizes caring for family by wanting them with us; and Mind (Intellect) symbolizes personal or collective function as more important than emotional sentiment that would hinder our egos. Often my mind tries to protect my heart, by distancing emotional triggers; and sometimes family relations are issues.

One time when i was arguing with my father about things in life, i said “heart matters more than mind”; what i meant was caring means more than intelligence to me. As much as my father and i loved knowledge, and we placed value in being smart and getting good grades, I was trying to create a foundation level of compassion between us as i was becoming and adult who had to live up to his expectations. Dad’s understanding of what i meant was a bonding moment between us over the years. I certainly got all kinds of grades in schools, including straight A’s some years, but mainly A’s and B’s. In college i graduated with honors and a Masters Degree in Architecture; and certainly intellectually i knew even when i had that talk with Dad, that what i called ‘heart’ was really emotional and ethical compassion in our minds, and not the anatomical organ (although pumping blood is vital and health is systemic).

In conclusion, regarding passion drives that control how we use rationality or our kinds of logic we integrate in our personality (see SCOD research of types of logic with Rock Wheeler), Heart (or Love) matters more as a motivational drive, because emotions are combined within us as instinctual survival mechanisms to help us at least get the basics and have some satisfaction thriving if we can feel the rewards of success. Brains (Intellect) or our Rational Minds are clearly important for basic functions as well, and vital for higher functions like wisdom that weighs emotion and knowledge (like a super-ego). Humans need both Heart and Mind, of course; but to me Heart (compassionate emotion) matters more as it drives will-power. It should be said that the balance between the two, back and forth, is how we make sure we prioritize care about the correct things, animals, or people in life. So why do I still say ‘Heart matters more than Mind’? I say it because LOVING ‘feels’ more important than the tool of logic (which is very useful too, don’t be jealous logic, I care about you too).

Love you Dad, Drogo

Friendship Is A Relationship

Posted in Cooperative collaboration, relationships, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , on February 12, 2019 by Drogo

Friendship is a type of relationship. So when people say they just want to be friends and not lovers, they should realize that being friends is still a type of relationship. Friendship is like a bubble balance of the space between us; too much space and it stretches thin, too little space and pressure shrinks it. Everyone is different in every combination, decide what feels right to you, and if someone else does not feel right, then it will not feel right to you.

relation-ships

We Dub Thee Undeserving

Posted in Cooperative collaboration, Ethics & Morals, Poems, Psychology, relationships, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 10, 2019 by Drogo

Those we deem undeserving of compassion due to their inability to care about our feelings, have probably not learned enough about compassion to know they need it the most, even if they do not want it from us. These are people that do not know how to give love enough for people to want to give it back to them; or they place too many limits on their love it counter-acts the little they give to most relations; or they expect love without having to give the same in return. The statement was inspired by a reformed neo-Nazi, after he described changing his life focus from hate to compassion. i added “we deem” because who is to judge? We are. People do. Sometimes for self-defense and good reasons. Limited love and reasonable compassion are realistic to be able to give to even some of the worst people; ie some mercy… While being able to defend our own lives. writing about types of sustained love is writing about desire for emotional balance often. When we call people whores or sluts just because they will not only be with us, ironically it is us who is less affectionate than the person we are accusing of being too affectionate with too many people. They might be disloyal to us, or may have hurt us; but we become undeserving of love if we try to ruin their lives more than they hurt us.

That kind of emotional vengeance no matter how justified, makes us into monsters as much as any of the thousands of liars in history.

Whores can be affectionate to those they like, so it has less to do with careers and more to do with ability to be compassionate. Loyal people can abuse the frickin hell out of people, and loyalty is not necessary for being nice to strangers for example, or letting someone go that feels abused.

Sluts & Whores Can Be Nice

Posted in Ethics & Morals, relationships, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , on November 25, 2018 by Drogo

Yes the terms are loaded, but it is time to disarm.

People that like having sex with multiple partners (sluts aka nympho-maniacs) or people that have sex with multiple partners as work (whores aka prostitutes), can be very nice people and actually go out of their way not to hurt others. It is ironic therefore that when people use those terms to insult people they do not like, often the person labeling them is revealing them-self to be mean. There is nothing about being a slut or a whore that means they also have to be a mean bitch.

Sluts and whores can consider themselves polyamorous depending on how they define love or sex. Polyamorous people can have sex with other partners mutually without making promises and then either keeping them or breaking promises as is the convention for courtship dating and monogamous marriage relationships. These terms all are very loaded with connotations and often people have expectations about different people and relationships based on what they think is normal and what is hypocritical. They often assume that people have made promises or that people should not be allowed to change their minds about promises regarding their own lives and bodies, and with all that comes the negative results of unbridled jealousy, hatred, and anger that seeks punishment for not possessing the object of their desires in all the ways they want.

Does this mean that everyone should be a slut or a whore?? No of course not, but it is time to end bigotry against sexual people, many of which are very nice people who just want to be affectionate and enjoy life, or make money. Some whores for example have only one customer with a contract, some call it marriage. Some sluts are more social butterflies than anything else. If people are asexual or like dating to marry fine, do your thing; just please do not attack those who do not fit within the ‘norm’.

Humans are not the only animals that tend to be naturally polyamorous, despite that some are monogamous or abstinent for various reasons; the point being that humans can be both, and sometimes within the same life. Nothing against anyone who does not want to be identified by these terms, but I still hear these words used as insults regardless of how true the labels might be. Probably most people are referring to broken promises or ambitious expectations when they use the words as insults, the purpose being slander based on assumptions and gossip. People can be loyal in many ways to people they love in many different ways, sex is just one issue that gets attention. As far as personalities and relationships go, sex is over-rated in defining those, and under-rated in its potential to increase health for all who enjoy it.

Here are some good articles that help to break the tradition of abuse that comes with slut-shaming and whore-hating:

https://www.thrillist.com/sex-dating/nation/slut-shaming-life-lessons-how-sex-positivity-helps-mental-health

https://www.elitedaily.com/life/culture/5-reasons-time-end-shaming/905860

https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/bn5vwq/being-a-slag-is-a-virtue-not-a-vice-paris-lees

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-bejeezus-out-me/201406/whats-really-behind-slut-shaming

“This debate about promiscuity is about judging and shaming people—thinking that you know what’s best for them. ” – Vice article

“As for the term “slut,” sometimes its use had no connection to sexual activity—it was a way to say “I don’t like that person,”” – Psychology Today

“Sex isn’t a bad thing. IT’S NONE OF ANYONE’S DAMN BUSINESS…Sex should be between the two or three or however many people are involved in the intercourse and no one else. ” – Elite Daily