Archive for the relationships Category

Napoleonic Complex Bigotry

Posted in Critical Commentary of Civilization, Psychology, relationships, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , on October 9, 2018 by Drogo

Sizeism is a real thing, more so than the Napoleonic Complex; because for clarification Napoleon was actually 5 feet 7 inches tall, which is basically the average height of our time. Therefore Napoleon was being bullied by a foreign leader for being shorter, while not actually being shorter than average. This is typical of society to bully shorter people, which can result in reactionary competition against the larger assholes. All kinds of people can be bullied, but it is built into the fabric of society to be prejudice more against shorter people probably about as much as shy or weak people. When a person is short, shy, and weak their suffering can be terrible. Most artificial objects are made for average height or taller. Adult short people are made to shop in the children’s section, and not taken seriously because they are less intimidating in stature. Women often say they prefer ‘Tall, dark, and handsome” men, but will often just simply say they like ‘tall’ men more than any other feature (including personality traits or wealth). It should also be noted that women are often discounted from equal rights based on body size and strength issues related to their general muscle size.

Sizeism – prejudice or discrimination on the grounds of a person’s size.

There are studies in favor of saying that short people are more violent and angry, but it is more probable that short people compensate to compete with larger assholes which may be simply more commonly accepted by society, despite clear bullying.

[to be continued]

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Mutual Symbiotic Intention

Posted in relationships, Spiritual, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , on September 3, 2018 by Drogo

mutual symbiotic intention in relations – substantial biological success and sustainable deep full spectrum communication or cooperation is needed to maintain symbiotic stasis equality with a focus on mutual goals. Mutual Goals are achieved by dreaming, planning, and doing together. Love is the key, wishing is the window, doing is the door. Techniques can be explained for each step of a process of change, but the desire must be serious for the commitment to compel like addiction. In various communities and individuals symbiotic intention can be both philosophical and spiritual in practice. Buckminster Fuller referred to this engineering aspect of architecture as ‘synergy‘, integral structural integrity that is greater than the sum of its parts. Social challenges progress as new social issues become concerns regarding the roles of various types of characters in society (men, women, hybrid genders, children, racial hybrids, leaders, workers, etc). Social balance or utopian equilibrium is often a goal of politics and religions; however how to evaluate evolving success is an interesting subject. Synchronicity is related to synergy and symbiosis in a holistic space and time correlation. Commensal symbiotic exchange is one-sided where one benefits and the other is unaffected. Parasitic symbiosis is ‘predator vs prey’ or ‘vampiric’, and to be avoided in relationships to both avoid being a victim, and to avoid being an abusive psychopath.

Symbiosis = “any type of close sustained interaction between two different biological organisms, be it mutual, commensal, or parasitic. The organisms, each termed a symbiont, may be of the same or of different species. Symbiosis is also classified by physical attachment; symbiosis in which the organisms have bodily union is called conjunctive symbiosis, and symbiosis in which they are not in union is called disjunctive symbiosis.” – Wikipedia

Synergy = “the interaction or cooperation of two or more organizations, substances, or other agents to produce a combined effect greater than the sum of their separate effects.” – Google Dictionary

Synchronicity = “the simultaneous occurrence of events that appear significantly related but have no discernible causal connection.” – Google Dictionary

“For with the picture in the tapestry a new element has come in: the picture is greater than, and not explained by, the sum of the component threads.” – JRR Tolkien

Community Communication

Posted in Cooperatives / Communities / Networks / Travels, news, Politics, relationships, SCOD Council, Sustainability, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , on July 21, 2018 by Drogo

It is part of SCOD work to learn how all different people communicate despite all kinds of boundaries and responses, and also when communication breaks down and fails to be helpful. or in light of sensitive issues, how to still have at least contact with “others”, while accepting avoidance to various degrees is inevitable.

Knocking on doors as a neighbor is an interesting phenomenon. Calling people on phones is another. Texting is one of the newest forms of technological communication. Public notices are a way to communicate in communal or common areas, but it becomes less personal and more prone to faceless propaganda “news”, because there is no dialog possible.

An apology for “bothering” someone by contacting them is considered polite, because it is assumed that regardless of whether the person wants to talk or not, it is very possible they might feel bothered or threatened by a perceived “invasion of their personal space”, even if some distance is kept between physical bodies and messaging is kept to a practical minimum while within public or common areas or being far apart using technology. However even sales people and religious missionaries will use this polite procedure, and thus the very act of starting with an apology can be seen as a beginning to an impersonal sales pitch, and adds to the length of the contact the more one acts concerned for the possible emotional disturbance of another. It is still probably acceptable with most people to use a simple general blanket apology, even if the person initiating contact is going out of their comfort zone to contact the other, which bothers the bold person simultaneously and possibly more, as the person initiating contact can feel just as vulnerable as the one being contacted, since we can be sensitive to responses no matter who contacted who first at any given time, regardless of whether the timing does or does not seem reasonable to any number of people. It can be assumed that people can consider themselves “busy” even when they are relaxing for mental health reasons.

The cyclic aspects of communication easily lends itself to circular thinking which can frustrate the best communicators. Sometimes, some people can push past the fear involved with taking a risk to reach out an contact others, despite that they might make themselves a target by their own aggressive pro-action actions. When and who and how are interesting questions, but there are mysteries of life that we can best know only by trying and then reflecting on the experience after time has passed. This uncertainty puts many of us into introverted states of paralyzed fear, but heroes and villains are those that break those boundaries. Compassionate communication in tone and scope is a quality that can determine who is a kind saint or hero of the people, as opposed to flip-side uncaring communication of a harassing gad-fly or villain of society (at least with intuitive perception, which can be wrong).

Communication with some people will be doomed, as they do not want to be bothered at any time for anything, by anyone (like Oscar the Grouch, a grumpy curmudgeon). Even when someone is just in a bad mood, they can be argumentative for periods of time with no sights on conflict resolution; and that can lead to chaos. In cases of depression those chaotic periods can be long, and when it happens over and over as a pattern it can become abusive to everyone involved. How often can we all be happy enough to communicate at the same time about the same things with others? How much can we influence others to be compassionate about our own concerns while remaining ethical and not overly-manipulative? The best wise advice seems to be just be yourself, and show other people by example how to communicate by practicing with all your flaws and attributes.

Round Table vs Owning ‘Equals’

Posted in relationships, Religions, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 17, 2018 by Drogo

This essay was inspired by my love of King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table.

Round_Table

Main lessons of Arthurian Legends = Round Table: Good, Violence over Jealousy: Bad.

One of the stories within the legends focused on the Arthur, Guinevere, and Lancelot love triangle as being ‘doomed’ by its very nature; a tragic assumption which I hope to show is just the wrong way to learn from the past. It is easy for a testosterone bully or romance junky to say “the main lesson is to be faithful to the laws of marriage and the Bible, and never ‘cheat’ or ‘take’ another man’s wife”. Monogamy terms of possession are worth entire essays alone, but should envy itself truly always lead to misfortune? Celtic sensibility and wisdom of the Goddess argues against such immature interpretations. In our youth, we may be forgiven such hormonal and primal envy, but as adults we should be more considerate about the meaning of Love.

Christian culture has viewed women as possessions, and loyalty in marriage to be based entirely on spouses ‘owning’ each-other’s bodies and hearts. Owning hearts, minds, and bodies until death has often been a form of self-imposed but culturally encouraged and enforced slavery (certainly there have been blissfully happy mutual slaves that lead fairy-tale romance lives without much fighting or if there was tons it was worth it). Fidelity of monogamy often infamously leads to immoral behavior such as fits of rage and violence against people who are considered objects of jealousy. Property rights over people as cause for war was infamous in Homer’s ‘Iliad’ (Fall of Troy), and this illogical false justice has been perpetually mistaken as righteous wrath even by adults ever since.

Promises we make to each-other probably should be more attuned to who we are as people, and respect reasonable individual tendencies and realistic expectations based on natural desires and evolving social ethics. Possessing someone’s heart or even shared holding of bodily space, is not the same as ownership.

Friendship is the best basis for any relations. Can’t we all just get along? Some will always say “no”, and good luck to those making the best of things no matter the labels.

Owning Others as Partners or Parents

Posted in relationships, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 6, 2018 by Drogo

Saying that a loved one is “yours” may not be the exact same as most forms of slavery, but that mentality does have serious and dangerous problems. i stand by my conviction that possession of people leads to violence and abuse. People can seem totally in love owning eachother, until one doesnt want to be owned anymore by the other; then the concept of “you are mine” becomes psychotic. i know because ive felt those emotions, and ive witnessed others acting insane due to those feelings; most of us have as it is part of popular culture. Ownership of children is another problematic aspect of culture that has allowed for countless cases of abuse or neglect of all kinds. Letting go of this attitude is much easier said than done. Obviously there are positive aspects to this kind of attachment and co-dependency; such as defending or supporting one’s partner. Feelings of responsibility for helping other people should never go away entirely, as it is an important part of human relations and society, but our current cultural problems are related to individual civil rights.

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Thank You Letter to Loved Ones

Posted in Economics, relationships, SCOD Status Update Reports, Services, Sales or Trade, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , on February 19, 2018 by Drogo

by Drogo Empedocles

Thank you to my loved ones. I say ‘loved ones’ instead of supporters, because ‘support’ emphasizes an engineering role towards production of projects alone, but I want to make clear the importance of emotional support roles that do not need to be concerned with financing and the basics of survival, but can embrace many factors necessary to thrive (joy, contentment, excitement, encouragement, etc). Friends, family, and fans are all very important success elements in human lives. I feel love even for strangers that support my work, because by showing support and affection for my art, writing, music, and designs of any kind they are validating an extension of myself; much like having children or pets are expressions of existence. The Arts are about expressions of our lives (animus), as they take energy to create. Art may not be alive the same way as biological organisms, but art works have psychological presence which can validate our personal feelings, our entire lives, or even the ontological concept of Life itself.

My patrons financially supporting me include family and friends specifically on Patreon: Beamer, Chuckles, Aeyla, Wim. Thank you for helping validate my life. I was blacklisted and shut-out of the main-stream job market due to my anti-authoritarian rebellious attitude towards creativity, self-expression, and desire for freedom at a young age in grade school. Those that believe in competition may not have ended a decade of soccer playing as a senior on the losing team, and perhaps have not been embarrassed enough to destroy egotistical ambition, even when based on hard work and practice. Part of my reason for publishing my old school art and writing is not just to show progress, or even hopes at shared nostalgia (which I do value greatly); but more importantly for other people, I want to support the role of modern art movements to validate the worth of every individual life, no matter their skill, for the sake of sustainable co-existence in civilization. Everyone is worthy to be recognized as an artist, one who can express themselves using their own bodies and other mediums. What people do with their art is subject to public views of course, but a right to peaceful life once we are born should perhaps be more a priority in culture than it is. Many out-dated terms like ‘earning’ often do nothing towards civil rights in society, where one percent can ‘earn’ millions of dollars, and refuse to share with millions of people. In economic theory of a limited supply of currency, this makes no sense to extract national wealth and only allow the most selfish to have it.

Despite my own personal problems and failings, which are many, at this point in my adult life I have paid off all of my debts (college & car), and helped other people as well, in my own ways. My non-profit group SCOD may have no income to pay members, but it is made of all those every associated with it, inspired by it, and who inspire SCOD projects. There are so many important projects still possible, as SCOD School remains free; if we were to charge eventually it would solidify staff and pay using a business model with office secretaries for bursar, treasurer, and accountancy; and lawyers for all legal matters. Yet economic theory is still very hotly debated in our minds, even after years of many personal transactions among members, paying bills is a fundamental challenge to creativity and free-will. Our projects are not always financially successful, but we have redefined success itself in the Arts to allow for organic sustainability, regardless of monetary systems or politics. I would like to now list and describe some of my own projects, which often tie into SCOD and involve cooperation with others.

Book, Blog articles, poem communications, Designs, Art, Music, etc… [to be continued…]

Audio reading of letter, recorded by Drogo on Mixcloud

Polyamory: Expanding Love

Posted in Psychology, relationships, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , on July 2, 2017 by Drogo

Polyamorous Definition of Love: To me polyamory is a belief that people can love more than one person, while working to not let jealousy ruin friendship based relations with a core of love. Sexuality, romance, and other more intimate types of love are secondary to the core belief in love for others (-poly can mean many, but literally just means 3 or more).

Much Love, Love of Many

Love; It is all about the Love! Do it for the love.

Love yourself, love your work, and love others.

Take care, give care, and share care!!!

I live Life to Love, passionately expressed through my art. My art includes my drawing, writing, playing, or gardening. My art is a way of loving myself, the subject, and the audience; this kind of love has something to do with willingness to share.

The theory of Unconditional Love is ‘to give is to receive’. Giving love away to others freely, expands our capacity for love and makes us feel good with empathy. Infinite abundance is also an important concept with Unconditional Love, as though we are fountains overflowing with endless compassion. Everyone gains when we truly love ourselves and others. ‘Love is letting go of fear’, as the book by the same name says. Anger about abuse is of course a reason to place limits on love.

Historic gender roles and traditional marriage have often hindered social acceptance of polyamory in many ways legally and religiously. Gay rights and sexual freedoms are polyamorous natural human rights, for those that respect the love of others.

Many people normally do not think about how other people make art, because they have cultural barriers to ‘over-standing’ (as Rastas say) other modes of thought. There is a saying: ‘happy people do not have the best of everything, they make the best of everything they have’. I believe in Love, and it can be indeed, all we need for happiness (thriving in community).

“All we need is Love, Love is all we need!” – The Beatles

“Compassion is the ultimate source of success in life.” – Dalai Lama

“We still talk about LOVE in much the same way as the ancients described the effect that the ‘will of the gods’ had on the human psyche (which led to problems).” – Professor Holland

The Greeks saw any human problems as being made by gods, even problems of love; things that we do that seem beyond our own control. Love is the best kind of madness and self-delusion. ‘Romance and Tragedy’ are intertwined; chaotic passion leads to inevitable loss, like in “Romeo & Juliet” by Shakespeare. However ‘Romance and Comedy’ are combined in many other scripts, showing that ludicrous lust can win happiness. Love can bring us much happiness and sorrow; comedy and tragedy.

Ok, how about other emotions or moods that are related to Love? At SCAD one of my fellow class-mates, an African-American brother, got jazzed about ‘Tranquility’ and the ‘Blues’. He literally was designing using soothing shapes and cool blue colors. It would be wonderful to have the power to instantly be with loved ones, always have their full attention when you want it, and care about the same things at the same time. It would be a constant miracle if we never felt bad, and always agreed on everything. When we care less about disagreements, we can cease wanting to argue about every syllable. Common patterns of argumentative dialog can lead easily to abuse. Initial attraction is not a good reason to want to live with someone.

To decide if someone is really good for a long-term relationship, it is proven by them actually communicating or being with you, and wanting to be with you while they are with you. The long-term relationship test can be shown through friendship, or by their other ‘more than friend’ skills. Friendship is the best basis for any relationship; business, sexual, or anything.

To try to suss-out rationally if some-one has potential with you, you have to discuss issues, and figure out logically (without emotion) if the other person follows through on what they say. At what point is love mutual; when people are moody, have periods of ill communication, and go through phases? This process of relating to others takes years, which creates a relationship during a certain amount of time; experience shows that one relationship is not reliable as a predictable model.

Most relationships are people just thrown directly into intense emotions and living conditions together, for perceived convenience and loneliness; with-out evaluating planning, education, or training. Many people will never be ‘in the mood’ to know what friendship means and build strong friendships that partners deserve. Partners should want to speak to each-other, as they would like to be spoken to; and they should want interaction every day and night; and yet some how also be ok when they are apart for any period of time. Is it too much to ask?

Abuse is one of the common social problems that happens all too often. So many business partners and lovers abuse each-other, because they are not really friends; they do not know that to be friends you have to really like the other person enough to not hate them. Learning how to be good friends is not intuitive for everyone, but can be taught. I have always felt uneasy about making decisions about communication based on my impressions of what their words and behaviors mean. People think that being friends in a relationship is less important than romantic relationships or living together; because of the perceived social value of monogamy. If you want to trust another person sexually, being friendly is a good start. To live together well, or to do good business, friendship is very important.

Relationships

There are many kinds of relationships. Traditional terms are misleading, so we are making new terms to define the complexity of relationships. ‘Single’ does not mean available or lonely. ‘Taken’ implies that relationships are only of a possessive kind, and that there is a normal standard all must obey. Relationships have never all worked only one way. Anyone can love many people, even simultaneously in the larger concept of the word.

Gentleness, Time, and Patience

These three blessings are important to heal the soul from wounds inflicted by bad relationships. Tenderness and vulnerability are aspects of love, that can be confused with weakness when given willingly, even from a position of power. Time heals, it is the waiting that can be a vicious bitch of pain and agony. talk about; and if you can find a way to appreciate what they like, then you can have a way of relating to them; vis-a-vis relations with them, which are needed for relationships.

Still further, if you can actually support and provide them with what they like in some ways; then every communication you have with them, even disappointing ones, will be backed and infused by a relationship of love. This kind of healthy co-dependence is not always possible with everyone, for many reasons. One of the strangest components of social division happens when one person’s food, medicine, practices or interests are considered poisonous by another.

My love comes from when i was very depressed and heart-broken years ago, and my female friends that love me taught me how to love the Goddess, like priestesses. When immersed in blissful love, the Goddess is a metaphor for caring about people despite any-thing else. Loving the concept of Goddess means being able to set aside problems with individuals, regardless of my relation to them, in order to function and have a desire to live life, not end it.

Self-Love is the best gift of all, because when it is not selfish it attracts others.

Self-Love can avoid narcissism by its sharing and healing capacity.


Selling or giving your mind and body to the service of another, is not just confined to prostitution or marriage; and when it is truly willing nor is it confined to slavery. Mythology about ‘soul selling’ also implies some kind of immortal permanence, but in reality the suggestion is symbolic, since we do not have more sight or power than the Fates, and the Devil is a lesser god at best. A great boss, mentor, and friend of mine was an Engineer named John. He had incredible jovial wisdom, and he said “we all prostitute ourselves in one way or another.” There are many types of relationships, and some-times they over-lap.

Enjoying art is similar to not allowing jealousy to ruin a relationship. It is not only ok to love your own work, but it is good to enjoy the art of others, as though it were your own; because it is loving and not jealous. Love is a good thing, when you don’t let all the shit get in the way. Heal from heart-break; don’t let hate destroy you, or ruin love. Love yourself, and love others as yourself. Love your-self, not in narcissism, but in peace and joy. Love yourself with a kind of nurturing that allows and promotes happiness and real love of others.

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“It is not our purpose to become each other; it is to recognize each other, to learn to see the other and honor him for what he is: each the other’s opposite and complement.”              – Hermann Hesse

Respectful Love

Love is when I am concerned with your relationship with your own life,

rather than with your relationship to mine.” – Stewart Emery

It is possible to build a new civilization centered on love and life.” – Pope Francis 2001-2010

HF Prophecy 420

The Sun and the Moon love you, and you are them.

Damentalists will suffer from their own belief in Sin.

Progressives journey to the Moon and love that it is free.

Green Local produce grows on the far side of the reflection.

When I love the Sun & Moon, I am loving you and me.