Archive for the relationships Category

Cheating Is Unfair

Posted in Ethics & Morals, relationships, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , on April 23, 2020 by Drogo

A cheater is a player i hate because they try to beat me by bending or breaking what i consider to be the rules to their benefit. We can agree upon rules, but without honest discussion about the rules we will not know how people feel about the validity of the conventional or accepted rules. Accepting or agreeing to rules holds no water when parties or players cannot be trusted with obeying what they see as trivial or obstacles to goals or values that they have, no matter how much other people might protest. 

I tend to say a computer game AI that wins is ‘cheating’ because they are programmed to be better at playing the game than i am; and a person who breaks a promise is dishonest rather than a cheater, because i dont view relations as just a series of trivial social games, i feel there is more depth to love or compassion that is not always tied to a series of conscious selfish strategies (selfishness can be unconscious, but that is its own discussion). A person using unauthorized hidden notes on a test is cheating, and a person who cannot talk about personal problems with a partner has social challenges within a dysfunctional relationship. Cheating implies to me that things are either a test or a game, and therefore not serious or real as relationships or feelings. Perhaps rather than see relationships as competitive games, we can begin to talk about love as bonds which can unite many people together.

Regarding nature we often use the serpent metaphor. When asked why the snake bit us when we trusted it, the snake replies “because i am a snake, I bite other animals.” More people are liars than they want to admit, and more people want to accuse other people of lying to gas-light their own problems. No matter who is more guilty, there are underlying problems in society that go unaddressed regarding the psychology of honesty and our abilities for discussion and desires to volunteer information that may be used against us fairly or unfairly by various parties or partners. When we get to know people, we learn what we can trust them with, more or less in general during phases of their life, based on our experience with them and our perception of them. We can also label levels of crimes and discuss the hierarchy of importance of laws.

We can say “cheating is cheating” much like “sinning is sinning”. Most of us can look at something and sense it is an exact copy, or something a bit different; and begin to determine differences and similarities between two things. In art it becomes very tricky because tracing is an accepted method for learning how to draw, for professional architectural design (we trace) for modifying designs or drawing perspectives from photos, and in digital art what i do is tracing for my digital portraits; aka cheating. People accept it because it is a surface overlay which is new.

I take these issues seriously regarding the semantics, I want to understand what people expect. The world of art and antique forgeries is INSANE; works are both highly valued and highly penalized. When an artist is honest about doing a fake, and the fake is amazingly accurate, they are rewarded and the risk of penalty disappears. We can say “all is fair in love and war” and “life is unfair”, and yet sometimes we put war criminals and corrupt politicians on trial and get divorces; both ways exist in reality and are clearly problematic for many. Do I hate cheaters that rig or play the system to their advantage? Yes I hate cheating because it is unfair, especially if I am not rewarded by the rigged or played cheating; although sometimes cheating is used to achieve justice, such as stealing from the rich to give to the poor; but “two wrongs don’t make a right”, unless one way is considered fair or legal (such as taxes on the rich, but taxes and distribution of wealth are still highly debatable also).

Related SCOD articles : Relationships & Polyamory

SCOD Design and Imagination

Posted in Cooperative collaboration, dreams, ecovillages, Ethics & Morals, Futurist, Organic Architecture, Psychology, relationships, Sustainability, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 6, 2020 by Drogo

SCOD Design and Imagination – Theory Essay [recording]

Why study SCOD design? Be prepared not only for possible problems by designing better now; but also if there are systemic collapses, having a core homestead village for redesigning a new way of life will be important. People who can afford independent homesteads will have them, but those without enough money need more affordable housing now and in the future.

Some willing and able to share space will be the heart of a scod village, others will be on the fringes as independent owners or temporary visitors; but having communal space for everyone is important for social life, public events, and council meetings. If everyone could afford their own property and everything they need like rich people, then most would do that; but the reality is that currently the way our economy works is that most people cannot earn enough to afford an independent life, and so most people need shared public property but rarely get enough from our federal, state, or local governments.

SCOD focuses more on philosophy and psychology than militant or religious preppers, because the hardest test of conventional friendship or survival during an emergency is living with people. Knowing how to get basic needs met is critical, including during the most likely emergency scenarios (natural disaster, pandemic, or war); so that comes first. Once you know where to get your food, water, and shelter; the scod design method of infinite combinations will be based on access flow diagrams (see ‘SCOD Thesis’ for examples). SCOD does not encourage everyone to collect guns or have the same religion, because freedom and peace are mainly to be encouraged without force. Diversity of martial and work training, with healing arts and cultural beliefs are the core of scod negotiations, and the spices for the flavor of life.

Working and planning with all kinds of people does not need to be permanent. Diverse experience does not need to be a risky investment, it can best be achieved with limited projects with cooperative practice. The purpose of tests and exercises are to determine what works, and what does not for those involved. Dedication and trust are earned over time, and we simply cannot be dedicated to trusting everything in every way. We learn what is reasonable to expect with wisdom by trial and error, and we learn our own limits for negotiations. If there is no reason to invest in an unstable situation, it is wise to move on.   

If the factors work well they will, but there are so many possible scenarios that those who enjoy the joy of design and writing can explore possible plans without the costs of construction. We make do with what we have, and when we need more we can get it with will-power. The factors of design are as important to scod life as the basic elements they are based on, because scod design theory is a religion of architecture in that it should remind us the purpose of possessing, sharing, and maintaining structures and spaces. Exploring scod design theory is possible even if we never find the best possible factors with serious partners, and this point is the power of imagination. We can dream and be creative even if we have serious mental disabilities, physical disabilities, or are in prison or under quarantine. Enjoy yourself, scod.

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Sharing Success

Posted in Cooperative collaboration, Crafts, Creativity / Imagination, Critical Commentary of Civilization, Ethics & Morals, jobs, Organic Development, relationships, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 21, 2020 by Drogo

SCOD Sharing Culture and Brand Theory

Simply put, most of us cannot depend on financial success anymore, in an economy that is rigged against us more the harder we try. Also sometimes no matter how hard we try at things, we do not always get as good as others; but it is important to do what matters the most to us, even if we are disabled or never the ‘best’. Any success of my work is measured by who shares in the joy with me, because they understand the merits of doing what you love with friends by sharing, not trying to exclude by maximizing solitary ‘ownership’ profit at the cost of others. Those who like me for what I do and who I am will know that any concept of ‘brand’ that I have for myself is dedicated to changing the fake world of corporate representation into real organic cooperative democratic partnerships. I have been repulsed by the term ‘brand’ due to the painfully loaded corporate associations and assumptions that people will ‘buy into brands’ even when the corporate brand only considers them a consumer fan, and not a partner. It is possible that popular ‘brand’ ideology can be reclaimed from being like a cattle logo that is stamped on us, to something that we stitch into our own shared creations.

Organic cooperation is how we filmed our collective movies, how I do collaborative compositions and jam music, and how I produce art and books with other possessive egos involved. Those that want to do their own thing in order to always dominate attention, and have exclusive rights and profit just for their selfish inner circle are not part of what I define as being ‘worthy’ anymore. In previous decades I accepted that people felt forced to be greedy due to the rules; but I have been a part of sharing culture enough now to know that a viable alternative exists to the main-stream. Sure we cannot all get along all the time, and there will be some that we try to avoid; but as population increases compromises and truces built on love become more important to avoid hate and murder. We are all in this metaphysical mess together, whether you play with or against others is a personal choice. We all want to be left alone sometimes down by the creek; there will always be things we do not want to share all the time or in all ways, but relations dominate most of our lives and our proportion of sharing (willing or unwilling) increases with population density. 

One of the most important reasons for increased sharing at the highest levels has to do with top secret ‘national security’ issues that are defended by saying that there are no limits of the tyranny of power when it comes to perpetuating war and terror in the name of defense profit. The military industrial complex used our money and resources to wage war and destroy our global environment. Those in power who do not want to share have done terrible things that they have gotten away with, but it is very important to have more citizen journalists and non-fiction authors strive to share important facts that most of us would never know about.

In conclusion, ‘branding’ has the duality problem of “selling yourself”; selling out your integrity with an artificial facade vs marketing who you ‘really’ are. The more commercial a person is, the harder it is to distinguish the two, because they appear to be a ‘professional product’, not a real human. Most of us can be very competitive for survival, but collaboration is better than competition for sustaining happiness in any community.

May we declare Peace more than War

Posted in Cooperative collaboration, Ethics & Morals, Military, news, relationships, Sustainability, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 9, 2020 by Drogo

May we declare Peace more than War.

This is our SCOD prayer for 2020.

Most times any first world government declares war, it is MIC propaganda based to benefit war profiteers not the people of the country. People don’t learn from history enough to fix the cultural instincts that allow leaders to lead us into wars. It is not brave to constantly threaten others; bad neighbors do that all the time when they do not take time to communicate in good ways. We would have more peace if we were not so quick to be fooled by greedy rich people who profit from war. We do not have more peace or freedom declaring constant war against natives in other countries, as more of our poor are forced to live under martial law to pay their debts. We can barely sustain the peace and freedom we have by selling out ethically and economically to the MIC, because they want our money for health care and infrastructure and arts to pay for their military industrial products. We need to fix our own countries from within, not try to change everyone else’s country for us.

Fuck war hawks 007-style, no more lies for war. Take some time to think about what peace is everyday, and if you can’t then fuck yourself. It is easy to be stupid about things we do not study, in both war and peace.

Trump killing the Iran general was stupid because 1. We need to declare peace and get our military out of the middle east, which that general was helping to do. 2. We need to let Iran continue to fight ISIL, as that general was best known for fighting terrorists. 3. Declaring war based on lies will be added to all the other times our MIC lied us into endless wars. 4. The Iraq leaders we put in power are pissed at us now, and that general never attacked our military or civilians (maybe a mercenary was killed is the most i have heard). 5. This may force Iran to pursue a nuclear program like North Korea to deter our aggression in their area (Wilkerson’s main concern).

Imagine if Russia just bombed a Mexican airport to kill one of our generals who was trying to solve the immigration crisis. How would we take it? Is that behavior acceptable? The “quagmire” of our involvement in endless war in the middle east has a long and twisted history. Our CIA and Pentagon have been working against both Iran and Iraq for years. In modern history our CIA overthrew the Iranian government and supported Iraq in the Iran-Iraq war; then we went to war with Iraq twice. 

“The 1953 Iranian ’28 Mordad’ coup d’état was the overthrow of the democratically elected Prime Minister Mohammad Mosaddegh in favour of strengthening the monarchical rule of Mohammad Reza Pahlavi; orchestrated by the US (Operation Ajax) and the UK (Operation Boot). After the 1968 Ba’athist coup Iraq fell into the Soviet sphere of influence, so the CIA colluded with Iran to destabilize Iraq by arming Kurdish rebels. Beginning in 1982, the CIA began providing Iraq intelligence during the Iran–Iraq War. Donald Rumsfeld met Saddām in 1983 and 1984, when the UN reported that Iraq had used chemical attacks against Iranian troops. The NY Times reported that “American diplomats pronounce themselves satisfied with Iraq and suggest that normal diplomatic ties have been established in all but name. In 1984, the CIA “established a formal intelligence liaison” with the Mukhabarat, which provided the CIA with information on terrorist groups including the Abu Nidal Organization. However, there was a delay between the CIA’s provision of intelligence to the Mukhabarat and that intelligence being received and analyzed by the Iraqi military, which resulted in much of it not being actionable. Therefore, the CIA eventually began working directly with Iraqi military intelligence, thereby negating its leverage on Iraqi-sponsored terrorism. In 1988, during the waning days of Iraq’s war with Iran, the US learned through satellite imagery that Iran was about to gain a major strategic advantage by exploiting a hole in Iraqi defenses. US intelligence officials conveyed the location of the Iranian troops to Iraq, fully aware that Hussein’s military would attack with chemical weapons, including sarin, a lethal nerve agent. The CIA was also involved in the failed 1996 coup against Saddam Hussein.” – Wikipedia

“It’s a pity both sides can’t lose (commenting on Iran-Iraq war, 1980 – 1988)” ― Henry Kissinger

It is not isolationist to declare peace and work both internally and together, it is humanist.

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Response to ‘May we Declare peace more than war” –

“But… in order to “declare peace” don’t you first have to have war? #pedantic (beamer)

In the most common black or white sense, yes. But others can declare war, while others sue for peace. so for example 2 sides declare mutual war, and a third mediator like Picard or Druids can declare Peace, and in fact must to force negotiations. but yes the war declarations still exist previously in the standard definition types.

However the issue of having to declare war seems to take for granted that we are always in peace, like during long cold wars where tensions are called war, one side could declare peace with signs and gifts of good will more often than is currently standard practice perhaps. whether we need to have the other to declare the other, depends on the “state” condition perspective.

To me the role reversal that questions the nature of war and peace, is “peace has broken out”! Qhile ceasefires and treaties have been celebrated as declarations of peace, we rarely hear that peace has broken out, only war breaks out, so peace is more like a purgatory reality (war being hell) instead of a paradise reality.

The monty python use of “peace has broken out” got me questioning the use of the term peace more as a news announcement. Since i began studying Roman history i always wondered about the Pax Romana architecture celebrations after military victories, as really being celebrations of aggressive authority peace keeping by violent wars.

Peace being used as a default ignores the threat and actions of violence by authority who are the ‘peace keepers’ and can initiate violence which can be blamed on the rebels or poor who are homeless and loitering. so to me peace could break out on a calm street in nazi germany for example; where it was business as usual with no immediate violence, but suddenly people were nicer and giving flowers and the police threw away their weapons. this ridiculous example would be ‘peace breaking out on an otherwise mundane busy day’; now whether peace is more calm or active is another question too.

 

“Battles are being fought today in the shadow of impending peace looming over the battle fields like some grim specter of gentleness and caring.” – Beamer

Trumpian Economic Report 2020

Posted in Book Reports, Cartoon Comics, Commercial Corporations, Cooperative collaboration, Crafts, Critical Commentary of Civilization, jobs, Legal / Laws, Multimedia Communication, news, Organic Development, portraits, relationships, Services, Sales or Trade, Society Clubs or Social Groups, Sustainability, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on December 31, 2019 by Drogo

Artisan Vs. Commercial Market Selling

By Drogo Empedocles – January 2020

In a Trumpian economy most of us are forced to be beggars even when we offer work in return for money, due to an excess of labor not needed or desired by the rich. Trickle-down Reaganomics has failed us, and is still being pushed on us by Trump and all corporate politicians who sold out. We must resist falling to the attacks causing the destruction of our lives and plan to not just survive but rebuild a better world for our children.

Trump’s tax plan benefits the rich, and diminishes the middle class. The estate tax is gone now so that rich children can inherit all their parent’s wealth freely without earning it, while poor children suffer without deserving it. Personal exemptions have been removed. You can still itemize donations, but the standard deduction bar was raised with an overall .5% tax rate reduction. Those basic changes might negligibly benefit lower incomes, but average to upper middle class households are losing thousands on whole due to other changes in the tax plan.

I lost some financial support despite my working through the holidays on several projects. I won’t be able to do as much free or low-budget work with others, until i can secure more income to cover my own expenses at least. my income is only $700 a year recently, so i feel like i get by with quite a little actually. I only currently use one sound program most weeks, and focus on word (writing) programs, which have glitches between formats, but i am able to publish that way. So for over a year i have only been using two editing programs.

Most people should know that any work has a price; and so my work is for sale, as with any artist; we need means to live so we try to sell prints and originals if we can. If people do not know how to want to share money with others, i am not sure how i can help them except to remind them by bringing it up sometimes. I focus on my work more than sales, because i do it for the work not the sales. If i am asked to be more of a sales person i would not do it. i dont know if stating that i will keep doing my own work the way i want no matter what will reduce interest in investing in me or increase it long term; but i really do not see many options to sustain my career legacy. I may get some temporary side jobs like working for Census, but even if i got a huge increase in income what matters to me is what is created with what i have ultimately.

SCOD social capital has increased overall i believe, which is hard to define since it is not income based. I am close to founding a tristate network for hosting art, music, and writing events; but the design is mostly socially dependent, using properties in WV, MD, and VA. The financial components like ticket sales and payments are totally based on how many people i can get to coordinate together. we currently have several proposals still being formed, for multimedia broadcasting and sharing local events, i can pursue these negotiations without financial losses. ive felt on the verge of something big over the years, but i never know when the tipping point will come because … and this is the hard part to talk about, the complex dynamics of partnerships.

I am proud to ‘beg’ with something of quality to offer in return. When you buy my work, you support many other people; because I collaborate with and buy from other artists and friends. To anyone that thinks I am begging by being honest that I do not earn much, I argue that bragging about how good your work is and saying you have been ‘financially successful’ by taking more than you need is worse than begging because to me that could be considered just as unworthy of support. Getting money from other people is not proof of deserving money, it is simply how people pay their bills. Also I am not just begging because I offer plenty of services and products in various fields. I am simply saying why I could use more income, as opposed to those who do not need more for basic living. I have many jobs, and i do them. I tend to give things away for free and make reasonable deals to work with lower income people.  I apply to better paying jobs, but I do not get them, and when i have had them before i cannot keep them for psychological reasons, one being i cannot stand authoritarian control because i desire to fight back against bosses the same as I would with any willful cruel or ignorant jackass; but when we trade self-respect for money we suppress our resentment which can fester and build to a break-down or illness.

I will not spend time defending myself by arguing against assholes, they are not worth my time. I am too expensive for them because they cannot pay me enough to work for them, and it is easy enough to block them and delete their petty comments. Their attempts to troll me are pathetic when i can shut them down easily. It is amazing that people will ‘friend’ me only to wait for chances to attack, without ever once being kind.  These are the type of people that would tell homeless street musicians to “get a job” too.

If fees are low enough with time i can advertise more without major losses on more websites; in hopes to get at least a few sales. Social reception is usually less than enthusiastic on a whole from audiences on platforms. Amazon is the best example ive had because ive been using it for years, i struggle to get a few sales a year even when i post the links and talk about them etc. I know it is not because my books are not as good as ‘Diary of a Whimpy Kid’ or ‘Captain Underpants’ which are best sellers, it has to do with commercial control of the market at the high levels. I mean sure we could argue whose art or story sucks more, but with enough exposure anti-authoritarian subversive books like ours do well with children and ne’er-do-wellz, which are a large portion of the population.

Ironically most of the people who buy my books are part of the vanishing middle class; not the lowest or the highest earning. There are more lower middle class people so they do buy more books, compared to the few upper middle class people who are interested in my books. I have had people with large incomes talk with me for hours, and i gave them books and they still did not buy any, so spending money has more to do with personalities than wealth; which is why those with less wealth will spend more if they have an income, which creates financial flow and opportunities in an economy.

All of these opinions of observations are reasons why many of us are not satisfied with status-quo commercial politics. We want more leaders like Bernie Sanders and progressives on the right or left who can be held to account by their voters who are also the majority of their campaign financing. We cannot afford allowing corporate sell-outsto further rig our own economy, environment, and country against us.

[ see also Lucas Chancel, World Inequality Lab ]

 

The Decline of American White Men

Posted in Critical Commentary of Civilization, Economics, jobs, Medical, Military, news, relationships, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 5, 2019 by Drogo

Post-Modern White Male Destruction: Causes of Our Resentment, Anger, & Despair

American white men are self-destructing more than ever before since WW2 due to a return to Great Depression economic poverty for the masses, and most of our wealth going to the rich elites. We comprise a large percentage of the US population, but despite not being a minority, we are increasingly killing ourselves and others in a desperate struggle to maintain our ‘dominant legacy’ (social profile expectations based on cultural history). If you know white men who are acting more desperate, hooked on hard meth or heroin, and more masochist and sadistic please know it is not just you, it is part of a systemic problem that has to do with self worth decline compared to the last generation. Decreasing wealth for white men, compounded by mortgage and student debt which decimated the middle-class after years of subjugation working for free to fund institutions, we find ourselves less likely to support ourselves, and certainly not mates or family dependents. These problems of expectation affect our honor, and we hate ourselves and want to blame other poor people within shooting range. Before debating this issue, it is important to study the statistics of sustainability.

More people die from poverty than terrorism. According to TED speaker Dan Gilbert, more people die from poverty than if a terrorist detonated a nuke; statistically ‘Why We Make Bad Decisions‘.  Also ‘Poverty isn’t a lack of character; it’s a lack of cash‘ according to Rutger Bregman, and other humanists.  [ Poverty stats ]

Mass incarceration does not help. Even if blacks are proportionately in prison more, we have more of our whole population in jail than any other country. Between 1980 and 2015, the number of people incarcerated in America increased from roughly 500,000 to over 2 million. The Bureau of Justice Statistics reports that 35% of state prisoners are white, 38% are black, and 21% are Hispanic. Our national population of poverty is enforced with taxes that pay for the prisons, police, and military. [ Stats of mass incarceration: NAACP ‘Criminal Justice Facts‘;  Sentencing Project;  USA has the largest ‘Prison Population‘ in the World (click on the chart to sort = 2,121,600) ]

Yes meth and heroin are largely a white people problem. ‘Christian White Men’ are more likely to use those hard drugs in poverty today. [ Stats for drug addiction: AAC; MH Race Stats for Drug Addiction; NIH ‘Drug Treatment Facts‘; NCBI Race & Gender Studies

Our average life span has been reduced according to critical studies. Men already died younger on average than women, but now whites in general are living shorter lives, despite medical advances. [ NPR ‘Deaths of Despair’ ]

Poverty causes many to join the Military, where we still feel suicidal despite guaranteed pay and benefits; because the ‘War On Terror’ is perpetual and demoralizing (see MIC). Never forget all the soldier suicides during the endless war on terror. Since 2001 apx 22 die a day (144,000+) RIP. Women are more likely to report mental fatigue, so that needs to be accounted for in the raw data; because men are more likely to act out rather than report themselves for problems (‘macho pride’ social stereo-type issue). [ Veteran Suicides by State ‘Once A Soldier’; Veteran Suicide Hotline 1-800-273-8255; ‘Playing with War Wisdom‘ ]

Yes Trump is a symptom of our problem.  [ ‘REAL Reasons For Trump’s Impeachment‘ Redacted Tonight; Trump is a con-artist scamming bigoted rapist Chump ]

Yes mass shootings are symptoms of our problems. ‘Christian White Men’ are terrorists more often than Muslims or anyone else in America. [ Statistics of Mass Shootings by Race ]

Access to guns and explosives for psychotic men in every state, with no substantial health care plan for mental illness does not help.  [ Gun & Explosive stats – ATF ]

Less jobs paying a living wage, relative to the cost of living, is at the heart of our problem [Michael Moore’s films; Noam Chomsky’s ‘Requiem for the American Dream‘]. Companies prefer to use migrant workers who work for less (and automation), rather than pay middle-class wages. Capitalist corporations corrupt government against the good of the people (aka general population). Despite all these problems with our system, there is some hope for us to increase our standards of living proposed by the Next System Project (NSP), Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (AOC), and Bernie Sanders with the Green New Deal.  [ NSP Democratic Investment Bank; AOC GND; Sanders’ GND ]

Speak out about the larger problems, and surprise neo-fascist racists by explaining why minorities are not to blame for big problems that affect the majority of the population (which includes minorities). Surprise! Our economic problems are not solved by race wars, although the rich elites who own corporations are fine with neo-fascists like Trump because race wars benefit them. Be smart, don’t blame race for a plutocratic system that keeps us all down. We all benefit when we come together and cooperate to make change as ‘We The People’!

[ AUDIO Recording of this essay ]

 

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Yo Soy Yo Mismo

Posted in Ethics & Morals, Poems, Poems, Rhymes, Riddles, relationships, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on June 3, 2019 by Drogo

Yo soy yo mismo – I am myself

I am married to Freedom, and she knows me for who i am. We were married when i became an adult, and our wedding vows were made with each heart break. I am loyal to my friends, and mostly to the best of them, but no one owns or controls me. Those who live with each other are part of each other’s lives, and no promises or betrayals are needed for patterns of behavior to be known. To love Freedom is a game of release, without cheating because there are no jealous hateful rules for others to enforce.

Poem on Death or Loss

Posted in dreams, Memorials / Obituaries / Epitaphs, Poems, Poems, Rhymes, Riddles, relationships, Spiritual, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , on April 26, 2019 by Drogo

My gardens, my pets, my friends, my family… those I lose are still with me every day and every night. i still see, hear, and feel them around me and inside me. im always reminded of those things that make me who i am. the things i lose are alive in my dreams or in the presence of other things. Sometimes my dreams of my dead father being alive feel very real. To be remembered is not a depressing concept it is the dying and absence aspects that hurt; but only in forgetting is there absence of our conscious minds; but that is limited absence in the totality of being. 

– Drogo

Heart Matters More Than Mind

Posted in Ethics & Morals, Psychology, Rationality & Logic, relationships, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , on April 5, 2019 by Drogo

This theme of ‘love vs intelligence’ probably first became an issue for me from studying the fantasy works about Oz, regarding the Tin Man and the Scarecrow. It also involved arguing with dad about having ‘stupid friends’ who were not very smart. my gentle giant friend Fruity would admit he was not very ‘book smart’; he would do stupid stuff to amuse me to show how strong he was. Dad and i debated about whether i could have friends that were mentally challenged; defined by IQ, or speech, or behavior, or even looks i suppose. humility in a personality makes me sympathetic; what comes to mind for examples are caring for a pet or care-giving for an ‘idiot’ or foolish loved one. So taken to extremes: Heart (Compassion) symbolizes caring for family by wanting them with us; and Mind (Intellect) symbolizes personal or collective function as more important than emotional sentiment that would hinder our egos. Often my mind tries to protect my heart, by distancing emotional triggers; and sometimes family relations are issues.

One time when i was arguing with my father about things in life, i said “heart matters more than mind”; what i meant was caring means more than intelligence to me. As much as my father and i loved knowledge, and we placed value in being smart and getting good grades, I was trying to create a foundation level of compassion between us as i was becoming and adult who had to live up to his expectations. Dad’s understanding of what i meant was a bonding moment between us over the years. I certainly got all kinds of grades in schools, including straight A’s some years, but mainly A’s and B’s. In college i graduated with honors and a Masters Degree in Architecture; and certainly intellectually i knew even when i had that talk with Dad, that what i called ‘heart’ was really emotional and ethical compassion in our minds, and not the anatomical organ (although pumping blood is vital and health is systemic).

In conclusion, regarding passion drives that control how we use rationality or our kinds of logic we integrate in our personality (see SCOD research of types of logic with Rock Wheeler), Heart (or Love) matters more as a motivational drive, because emotions are combined within us as instinctual survival mechanisms to help us at least get the basics and have some satisfaction thriving if we can feel the rewards of success. Brains (Intellect) or our Rational Minds are clearly important for basic functions as well, and vital for higher functions like wisdom that weighs emotion and knowledge (like a super-ego). Humans need both Heart and Mind, of course; but to me Heart (compassionate emotion) matters more as it drives will-power. It should be said that the balance between the two, back and forth, is how we make sure we prioritize care about the correct things, animals, or people in life. So why do I still say ‘Heart matters more than Mind’? I say it because LOVING ‘feels’ more important than the tool of logic (which is very useful too, don’t be jealous logic, I care about you too).

Love you Dad, Drogo

Friendship Is A Relationship

Posted in Cooperative collaboration, relationships, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , on February 12, 2019 by Drogo

Friendship is a type of relationship. So when people say they just want to be friends and not lovers, they should realize that being friends is still a type of relationship. Friendship is like a bubble balance of the space between us; too much space and it stretches thin, too little space and pressure shrinks it. Everyone is different in every combination, decide what feels right to you, and if someone else does not feel right, then it will not feel right to you.

relation-ships

We Dub Thee Undeserving

Posted in Cooperative collaboration, Ethics & Morals, Poems, Psychology, relationships, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 10, 2019 by Drogo

Those we deem undeserving of compassion due to their inability to care about our feelings, have probably not learned enough about compassion to know they need it the most, even if they do not want it from us. These are people that do not know how to give love enough for people to want to give it back to them; or they place too many limits on their love it counter-acts the little they give to most relations; or they expect love without having to give the same in return. The statement was inspired by a reformed neo-Nazi, after he described changing his life focus from hate to compassion. i added “we deem” because who is to judge? We are. People do. Sometimes for self-defense and good reasons. Limited love and reasonable compassion are realistic to be able to give to even some of the worst people; ie some mercy… While being able to defend our own lives. writing about types of sustained love is writing about desire for emotional balance often. When we call people whores or sluts just because they will not only be with us, ironically it is us who is less affectionate than the person we are accusing of being too affectionate with too many people. They might be disloyal to us, or may have hurt us; but we become undeserving of love if we try to ruin their lives more than they hurt us.

That kind of emotional vengeance no matter how justified, makes us into monsters as much as any of the thousands of liars in history.

Whores can be affectionate to those they like, so it has less to do with careers and more to do with ability to be compassionate. Loyal people can abuse the frickin hell out of people, and loyalty is not necessary for being nice to strangers for example, or letting someone go that feels abused.

Sluts & Whores Can Be Nice

Posted in Ethics & Morals, relationships, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , on November 25, 2018 by Drogo

Yes the terms are loaded, but it is time to disarm.

People that like having sex with multiple partners (sluts aka nympho-maniacs) or people that have sex with multiple partners as work (whores aka prostitutes), can be very nice people and actually go out of their way not to hurt others. It is ironic therefore that when people use those terms to insult people they do not like, often the person labeling them is revealing them-self to be mean. There is nothing about being a slut or a whore that means they also have to be a mean bitch.

Sluts and whores can consider themselves polyamorous depending on how they define love or sex. Polyamorous people can have sex with other partners mutually without making promises and then either keeping them or breaking promises as is the convention for courtship dating and monogamous marriage relationships. These terms all are very loaded with connotations and often people have expectations about different people and relationships based on what they think is normal and what is hypocritical. They often assume that people have made promises or that people should not be allowed to change their minds about promises regarding their own lives and bodies, and with all that comes the negative results of unbridled jealousy, hatred, and anger that seeks punishment for not possessing the object of their desires in all the ways they want.

Does this mean that everyone should be a slut or a whore?? No of course not, but it is time to end bigotry against sexual people, many of which are very nice people who just want to be affectionate and enjoy life, or make money. Some whores for example have only one customer with a contract, some call it marriage. Some sluts are more social butterflies than anything else. If people are asexual or like dating to marry fine, do your thing; just please do not attack those who do not fit within the ‘norm’.

Humans are not the only animals that tend to be naturally polyamorous, despite that some are monogamous or abstinent for various reasons; the point being that humans can be both, and sometimes within the same life. Nothing against anyone who does not want to be identified by these terms, but I still hear these words used as insults regardless of how true the labels might be. Probably most people are referring to broken promises or ambitious expectations when they use the words as insults, the purpose being slander based on assumptions and gossip. People can be loyal in many ways to people they love in many different ways, sex is just one issue that gets attention. As far as personalities and relationships go, sex is over-rated in defining those, and under-rated in its potential to increase health for all who enjoy it.

Here are some good articles that help to break the tradition of abuse that comes with slut-shaming and whore-hating:

https://www.thrillist.com/sex-dating/nation/slut-shaming-life-lessons-how-sex-positivity-helps-mental-health

https://www.elitedaily.com/life/culture/5-reasons-time-end-shaming/905860

https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/bn5vwq/being-a-slag-is-a-virtue-not-a-vice-paris-lees

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-bejeezus-out-me/201406/whats-really-behind-slut-shaming

“This debate about promiscuity is about judging and shaming people—thinking that you know what’s best for them. ” – Vice article

“As for the term “slut,” sometimes its use had no connection to sexual activity—it was a way to say “I don’t like that person,”” – Psychology Today

“Sex isn’t a bad thing. IT’S NONE OF ANYONE’S DAMN BUSINESS…Sex should be between the two or three or however many people are involved in the intercourse and no one else. ” – Elite Daily

 

Napoleonic Complex Bigotry

Posted in Critical Commentary of Civilization, Psychology, relationships, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , on October 9, 2018 by Drogo

Sizeism is a real thing, more so than the Napoleonic Complex; because for clarification Napoleon was actually 5 feet 7 inches tall, which is basically the average height of our time. Therefore Napoleon was being bullied by a foreign leader for being shorter, while not actually being shorter than average. This is typical of society to bully shorter people, which can result in reactionary competition against the larger assholes. All kinds of people can be bullied, but it is built into the fabric of society to be prejudice more against shorter people probably about as much as shy or weak people. When a person is short, shy, and weak their suffering can be terrible. Most artificial objects are made for average height or taller. Adult short people are made to shop in the children’s section, and not taken seriously because they are less intimidating in stature. Women often say they prefer ‘Tall, dark, and handsome” men, but will often just simply say they like ‘tall’ men more than any other feature (including personality traits or wealth). It should also be noted that women are often discounted from equal rights based on body size and strength issues related to their general muscle size.

Sizeism – prejudice or discrimination on the grounds of a person’s size.

There are studies in favor of saying that short people are more violent and angry, but it is more probable that short people compensate to compete with larger assholes which may be simply more commonly accepted by society, despite clear bullying.

[to be continued]

Mutual Symbiotic Intention

Posted in relationships, Spiritual, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , on September 3, 2018 by Drogo

mutual symbiotic intention in relations – substantial biological success and sustainable deep full spectrum communication or cooperation is needed to maintain symbiotic stasis equality with a focus on mutual goals. Mutual Goals are achieved by dreaming, planning, and doing together. Love is the key, wishing is the window, doing is the door. Techniques can be explained for each step of a process of change, but the desire must be serious for the commitment to compel like addiction. In various communities and individuals symbiotic intention can be both philosophical and spiritual in practice. Buckminster Fuller referred to this engineering aspect of architecture as ‘synergy‘, integral structural integrity that is greater than the sum of its parts. Social challenges progress as new social issues become concerns regarding the roles of various types of characters in society (men, women, hybrid genders, children, racial hybrids, leaders, workers, etc). Social balance or utopian equilibrium is often a goal of politics and religions; however how to evaluate evolving success is an interesting subject. Synchronicity is related to synergy and symbiosis in a holistic space and time correlation. Commensal symbiotic exchange is one-sided where one benefits and the other is unaffected. Parasitic symbiosis is ‘predator vs prey’ or ‘vampiric’, and to be avoided in relationships to both avoid being a victim, and to avoid being an abusive psychopath.

Symbiosis = “any type of close sustained interaction between two different biological organisms, be it mutual, commensal, or parasitic. The organisms, each termed a symbiont, may be of the same or of different species. Symbiosis is also classified by physical attachment; symbiosis in which the organisms have bodily union is called conjunctive symbiosis, and symbiosis in which they are not in union is called disjunctive symbiosis.” – Wikipedia

Synergy = “the interaction or cooperation of two or more organizations, substances, or other agents to produce a combined effect greater than the sum of their separate effects.” – Google Dictionary

Synchronicity = “the simultaneous occurrence of events that appear significantly related but have no discernible causal connection.” – Google Dictionary

“For with the picture in the tapestry a new element has come in: the picture is greater than, and not explained by, the sum of the component threads.” – JRR Tolkien

Community Communication

Posted in Cooperatives / Communities / Networks / Travels, news, Politics, relationships, SCOD Council, Sustainability, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , on July 21, 2018 by Drogo

It is part of SCOD work to learn how all different people communicate despite all kinds of boundaries and responses, and also when communication breaks down and fails to be helpful. or in light of sensitive issues, how to still have at least contact with “others”, while accepting avoidance to various degrees is inevitable.

Knocking on doors as a neighbor is an interesting phenomenon. Calling people on phones is another. Texting is one of the newest forms of technological communication. Public notices are a way to communicate in communal or common areas, but it becomes less personal and more prone to faceless propaganda “news”, because there is no dialog possible.

An apology for “bothering” someone by contacting them is considered polite, because it is assumed that regardless of whether the person wants to talk or not, it is very possible they might feel bothered or threatened by a perceived “invasion of their personal space”, even if some distance is kept between physical bodies and messaging is kept to a practical minimum while within public or common areas or being far apart using technology. However even sales people and religious missionaries will use this polite procedure, and thus the very act of starting with an apology can be seen as a beginning to an impersonal sales pitch, and adds to the length of the contact the more one acts concerned for the possible emotional disturbance of another. It is still probably acceptable with most people to use a simple general blanket apology, even if the person initiating contact is going out of their comfort zone to contact the other, which bothers the bold person simultaneously and possibly more, as the person initiating contact can feel just as vulnerable as the one being contacted, since we can be sensitive to responses no matter who contacted who first at any given time, regardless of whether the timing does or does not seem reasonable to any number of people. It can be assumed that people can consider themselves “busy” even when they are relaxing for mental health reasons.

The cyclic aspects of communication easily lends itself to circular thinking which can frustrate the best communicators. Sometimes, some people can push past the fear involved with taking a risk to reach out an contact others, despite that they might make themselves a target by their own aggressive pro-action actions. When and who and how are interesting questions, but there are mysteries of life that we can best know only by trying and then reflecting on the experience after time has passed. This uncertainty puts many of us into introverted states of paralyzed fear, but heroes and villains are those that break those boundaries. Compassionate communication in tone and scope is a quality that can determine who is a kind saint or hero of the people, as opposed to flip-side uncaring communication of a harassing gad-fly or villain of society (at least with intuitive perception, which can be wrong).

Communication with some people will be doomed, as they do not want to be bothered at any time for anything, by anyone (like Oscar the Grouch, a grumpy curmudgeon). Even when someone is just in a bad mood, they can be argumentative for periods of time with no sights on conflict resolution; and that can lead to chaos. In cases of depression those chaotic periods can be long, and when it happens over and over as a pattern it can become abusive to everyone involved. How often can we all be happy enough to communicate at the same time about the same things with others? How much can we influence others to be compassionate about our own concerns while remaining ethical and not overly-manipulative? The best wise advice seems to be just be yourself, and show other people by example how to communicate by practicing with all your flaws and attributes.