Archive for dark humor

Tombstone Epitaphs of Dark Humor

Posted in Memorials / Obituaries / Epitaphs, Poems, Rhymes, Riddles with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 14, 2010 by Drogo

Tombstone Epitaphs (Comic Horror)

Written by Drogo Empedocles

*

BEGURKLE

Alex Begurkle in peace sleeps below,

for he tried to reach the bathroom but was far too slow.

*

R.I.P.  SAM GREMBLE

Sam Gremble is here lying at rest,

he barfed to death while taking a test.

*

Here lies NEL WEEKS …

He was just one of those freaks.

*

Buried beneath is Susan McCall

while playing a game she swallowed the ball.

*

Curled up in soil is Mat Grit,

who fell from a building and did a split.

******

Funny Epitaphs From Real Graves

*

It was a Cough

That carried him Off

It was a Coffin

They Carried him Off In

*

(On an attorney’s tombstone:)

Goembel, John E.

1867-1946

“The defense rests”

*

Here lies Johnny Yeast.

Pardon me For not rising.

Ruidoso, New Mexico

*

Jebediah Goodwin

Auctioneer

Born 1828 Going! Going!! Gone!!! 1876

*

Stranger tread

This ground with gravity.

Dentist Brown

Is filling his last cavity.

*

Effie Jean Robinson

1897-1922

Come blooming youths,

as you pass by, on these lines do cast an eye.

As you are now, so once was I;

As I am now, so must you be;

Prepare for death and follow me.

(Graffiti response: To follow you

I am not content, How do I know

Which way you went.)

*

Here lies Lester Moore.

Four slugs

From a forty-four.

No Les

No More.

*

Here lies Johnny Cole.

Who God rest his soul,

While chewing his crust

Was turned into dust.

*

Bill Blake

Was hanged by mistake.

*

Here lays Butch McGraw.

He was quick on the trigger

But slow on the draw.

*

Here lies the body

Of Margaret Bent

She kicked up her heels

And away she went.

*

She got a fish-bone

Stuck in her throat

and never sang

another note.

*

Here lies Athiest, John Doe

All dressed up and no place to go!

*

I told you I was sick!

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Dr. Dippie’s Short Faerie’s Tails

Posted in Dr. Dippie, Fictional Stories, Short Faerie's Tails with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 27, 2009 by Drogo

Prolonged Prolog(ue’)

 

Shortly after the death of Doctor Dippie, these strange scribblings were translated from his entrails, upon execution of his Will. This collection of short stories and tales is dedicated to his dear friends and brothers from RWU: Deathstalker, Cordite, and the Smelly, Furry Hippy, with whom he spent many hours “Tossing the Panda”. Also Sir Jeffy, Gleason, and Gramps Speeg.

Note: not to be confused with his ‘Fairy Tails

– Firewalker Publishing 1995

TABLE OF CONTENTS

1.      The Blue Van with Pink Polka-Dots

2.      Cat in the Cradle, Baby in the Box

3.      Young Edward Chesterfield Goes to the Store

4.      Monkeys in My Pockets

5.      The Little Chihuahua

6.      Death On The Brain

7.      The Purpose of Your Pitiful Life

8.      Little Billy and the Big Bang

9.      The Case of the Missing Pickle (Part 2)

10.    Six Sick, Sick Poems

!!!Warning!!!:

Adult Content, not for good children over the age of 2 or under the age of 500