Archive for pub

Pipe-Dream Pub Prophesy & Proposal 1997

Posted in Adaptive Reuse, Futurist, Pub Library, Roleplaying / Reenacting, SCOD Status Update Reports, Society Clubs or Social Groups, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 25, 2019 by Drogo

The Future of the Middle Ages


Written in 1997 by Drogo to Pipe-Dream Pub fellowship (edited and digitized in 2019)


Why West Virginia?


The rugged, rocky, rolly hills and blue ridge mountains with verdant valleys are a backdrop for snow, rivers, rain, fog, and dusty heat. Cold snowy winters and hot sweaty summers combine with landscape that has the same climate (more or less) as England. Farmland and coal mines; sturdy, beautiful, and backwards in beautiful country ways: a perfect medieval setting for a dwarven tavern.


Why Harpers Ferry?


While maintaining a hardy mountaineer heart, the spirit of Harpers Ferry has guarded and sustained freedom despite its quaint, hobbiton, touristy appearance. Historic Harpers Ferry has been defined by influential travelers, and thrived in their wake. The guests and visitors act in spiritual freedom immortally, like a chronic hysteresis. As Shirley Dougherty puts it, “History always repeats itself in Harpers Ferry.” Native American sacred land where the Potomac and Shenandoah shed tears of love that ran together between the mountains and formed the rivers. Peter Stevens 1730, Robert Harper 1750, surveyed by George Washington 1797 and Thomas Jefferson for the Federal Armory 1830, John Brown’s Raid to free the slaves 1859, President Clinton and Gore Earth Day 1998 (?) and many other important figures and events are part of our legacy. 


Prophecy Proposal 1.  We Try Living Together


Trial By Sword and Stone

It is summer 2001 and I have graduated from SCAD (Savannah College of Art & Design). In past summers I worked for my Father and HABS (the Historic American Building Survey) as an architectural draftsman, but this summer I have joined the National Guard, and applied to the NPS (National Park Service) Design Center in Harpers Ferry. Three of my history and design friends have taken advantage of the lucrative job market in the DC area, and are currently renting from my parents for metropolitan commuting. The four of us are in a partnership written by round-table contract, and use the school-house in back for a studio office. We also host Gallery exhibits and shows downstairs with antiques, and sometimes entertain B&B guests. There is a substantial flow of money as we prosper.


Prophecy Proposal 2.  We Decide on the Pub Site Land Location


Trial By Earth 

A link is established in 2002 between 4 other partners, making 7 of us in the Pub Fellowship. We prepare for the Pub by sharing expenses and seeking land. Eventually we find the best site and purchase the property. Acquisition of ideal, strategic site land that is agreeable to everyone may prove to be the most difficult task of all. The amount of variables involved may seem overwhelming.


Prophecy Proposal 3.  Investors, Funding, and Financing


The Round Table Trial

It is now July 7th, 2003 and the four of us already in town, meet with our newest 3 members at Jefferson’s Rock. Perched upon the Rock of Ages we announce our time is nigh, calling out their arrival into the valley. The rush of the rivers generates a roaring cacophony that titillates our napes as we raise our heads high to the mountains, and declare our individual rights and strengths. Our proclamations echo through the gap, and fly down-stream towards the Capitol of our Nation; flooding the ears of the mundanes. We shout in unison “One for all, and all for one!!! Tally-ho to the Pipe-dream Pub! Hurrah!! Hooray!!! Vivate!!! Liberty!!!” With 7 investors we now can get enough loans and grants and easements. 


Prophecy Proposal 4.  Swear Allegiance Fidelity


The Trial of Camelot

Discussions and blueprints of the Pub follow after savings are spent in addition to other sources of funding for Pub property and materials. We archive written insurances and oaths of fidelity to the financial, material, and spiritual fellowship. The Sacred Seven can never fall so long as is planned for, with good will and reason. No one will unite if there be an unproven doubt in their mind or gut. We are philosopher kings united by the power of moral reason. None shall be untested, and with good fortune, none unspoken. And with all said, none unbroken. If a break arises it shall no doubt crack with at least one, but before a downfall the crack shall be filled by the spirit of the remaining 6. Even if 4 of the 7 fall, 3 is quite a magic number (in and of itself), and cannot be denied despite trials, though it be less than 4. If nightmares dare to cross o’er the river Styx into this world to turn 5 away from 2, the 2 will prove stronger (though they be fewer), because of the intimate nature of our number. But if the reality remains a dream of one, or the 7 be undone, to the deep dark abyss with this paper and the Pipe-dream shared by none. Each of our dreams must be thus defined and communicated through speech, writing, sounds, drawings, models, and bodily gestures as completely as possible, in order to compare how our individual desires for the collective dream correspond.


Prophecy Proposal 5.  Building Construction, Operation, and Sustaining Success


The Quest for the Holy Grail

Construction or restoration of the Tavern will ensue. The vision of Camelot will for the first time, be in sight. The combined knowledge of the Pub Fellowship of philosophers will prove a multifaceted tool of inexhaustible energy. As philosophical knights of the round table, we will support each-other as bees in a hive; our Queen is Wisdom (Sophia). Buzzing with ideas, skills, and events our vision will take shape, as hunters acquire resources and exchange places with guards to defend, direct, and build. The material cards we have saved in our hands, will emerge for this ultimate power play. There is such a joyful vitality of powerful energy to the Pub collective, that none spare time to doubt if the dream was worth it. We dance to our own rhythms while we work, so that even the most mundane tasks feel successful. We follow the verdant path of the Goddess in our productive frolicking and fiddling. Indulging in a labor of mind and body, we manifest an artistic functioning time machine, or vehicle for atmospheric revival and mental transportation. The Pub work is life affirming.


Maps are drawn and schedules made. The property of the Pub is large enough for a Tavern or Inn (a few acres). The Pub site is nestled away in woods, yet strategically accessible near a major interstate intersection within the DC metro area. There is ample parking up front. A long driveway wraps around back to stables of a half-timber two-story structure. There is a blacksmith’s shop and grounds for birds, cats, dogs, and horses. The main door is hard wood with heavy elaborate iron hinges, and a strong knocker handle ring. The door opens onto the ground level (first floor) bar and hearth of the Pub. All of the doors can be barred from the inside, chain-locked, pad-locked, and key-locked. By day the interior is lit by diamond pane windows, and later by a grand fireplace, candles, and chandeliers at night. Primarily a wood paneled hall with swords, shields, and various artifacts and mathoms displayed on walls and relic racks. The bar is adjacent to the fireplace, with a stair leading up between them. Bathrooms are behind the stairs, with a gallery hall for internet connection. Six tables crowd the room and pipe smoke hangs about. A fiddler rests on a stool in the corner, bar-wench Debbie serves ale, and Brynna (celtic female lark) sings before the fire. All forms of alcohol and herb are sold here, without the stress of an elite menu. If any food is sold, it consists of simple soups, breads, and common organic vegetables. The atmosphere is alluring to farmers, hunters, truckers, and bikers; but also to role-players, SCA, history buffs, reenactors, and even your average curious tourist or excited vacationer escaping from the rat-race.


Using the same chimney as the main hall, is the Library for quiet drinking, meditating, and studying. Upstairs is where the owners or bar-keeper lives; private bed-rooms, a study, and guest rooms. The blacksmith lives underground and guards the wine cellar, with dogs. The basement cellar links directly to the stable, bar, and oubliettes. The west wing of the Inn will have a dining hall and more guest rooms, and the east wing will have a kitchen and office. Blessed be, so mote it be.

  • END

[ AUDIO RECORDING of Drogo reading his original letter ]

The ‘Board and Books’ Club

Posted in Adaptive Reuse, Commercial Corporations, Crafts, jobs, Multimedia Communication, Pub Library, Roleplaying / Reenacting, Services, Sales or Trade, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 26, 2018 by Drogo

Urban Used Book Store and More

Before the apocalypse, some of us had opened a shop in the city for a place to sell what we made, to keep a collective library, and for a local hang out for geeks like us. We called it “The Board & Books” and it was an eclectic social community for all classes of gamers, intellectuals, artists, actors, musicians, and book lovers. We served some food and drink, but it was under the table to avoid needing to renovate and pay fees to code, to keep our expenses low since income was minimal mostly from monthly membership. If you stayed for more than an hour we asked that you pay to stay as long as you like, and that was incentive for return visits to get your money’s worth and have a chair and board to “call your own”. Walking sticks, paintings, and other home-made crafts of all kinds were welcome. On some days a smoking club would rent it, and we locked the door and responded only to the secret knock and call.

Our tiny shop version of the Pipedream Pub was called “The BOARD and Books” because we had at least one table to start with for playing games, writing, and studying books on. Table boards were also used for drinks and food when in private club sessions. The collective library was for our members to place books they liked or wrote, including old and new books. There were also prices on most of the books, on the odd occasion that someone wanted to own it for their personal private hoard. We even managed to sell a few poems.

We had old and new carved wood on display: walking sticks, canes, wands, sculptures, board panels, etc..

We had a converted piano made into a harp, flat-wide-screen digital monitor, and book shelf.

piano desk

Random paintings came and went. Art, music, and books were often traded.

Beamer and Tom made an awesome wooden table from old antiques and local barn boards.


After a few years membership increased and so rates were raised to pay the bills and make some net profit, until Armageddon. During WW3 there was too much economic depression to charge much, and when the urban infrastructure became bad enough we had to close shop in the city, and focus on the Pipedream Pub in the country.  Many of the items and books from the shop were moved to the Pub library and hearth hall.

[ part of SCOD FALLOUT 2020 series script ]

Pub Business Plan

Posted in Economics, Pub Library, Victorian Tavern with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 7, 2013 by Drogo

So you want to open a Medieval, Victorian, or Fantasy Pub? So do I. Here is a step-by-step list of a typical business plan for opening a pub.

1.  Location, location, location. Town, County, State. Near a highway. Enough space, at a reasonable cost (low monthly fees: mortgage, lease, rent, utilities, etc.). Easy access Parking.

2.  Get a business license, liquor license, insurance, inspections, permit for a club, and whatever else is needed legally in that location.

3. Order enough beer, liquor, wine, and a few food items to last a month or two; always keep stocked, and sell it for more than you pay for it.

4.  Advertise locally, in print, and on-line; with proper signage.

5.  Have a reason for people to come and keep coming back; quality food & drink; affordable costs; membership dues or benefits that other places do not offer; atmosphere and special social scene.

6.  File proper income taxes; accounting for employees and sales.

7.  Deal with problems as a benevolent over-lord.

Sounds simple doesn’t it? So why has it not happened yet? The problems come with the initial start-up costs and rent. Even with a steady stream of patrons, there is no guarantee that sales will cover the cost to run the place; and that is the big gamble – the risk.


Tofu Lizard Memoir 06

Posted in Individuals / Members / Monsters / Creative Writing with tags , , , , , on May 29, 2012 by Drogo

Journal Entry 06

Later that afternoon I met Cordite the Horse Master and Blacksmith. He had been fixing some utilities around back, in between chopping wood. The three of us played a knife throwing game, on a target board. Drogo assured me that my job working at the bar would be easy. I only had to serve basic food and drink like bread, crackers, soup, water, coffee, tea, and beer. Also there was no cash register, just a strong lock box that was chained to the bar, since tax was included in the prices, and prices were always rounded to the nearest dollar.

That night they showed me to my room in the Inn (end of the Tavern). A few other people passed through the doors, but I knew I had time later to meet everyone. Thanking Drogo and Cordite, I began unloading my pack. I felt quite safe and welcome at SCOD. There are few places in this world that I have been to where I felt so at home.

In the morning the call of the rooster woke me up. I followed the smell of breakfast back to bar at the Pub end of the Tavern. My bed at the Inn had been comfortable enough, and although my door was unlocked I knew my possessions would be safe. There were not enough strangers like me around to worry about, I mused. Things were going to be ok. I was finally reaching the conclusion that this was going to be the happiest time of my adult life, and leaving my old office job was truly the right thing for me to do after all.


Tofu Lizard Memoirs 05

Posted in Fictional Stories, Individuals / Members / Monsters / Creative Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 29, 2012 by Drogo

Journal of SCOD Member Tofu Lizard – Entry 05

The Medieval Pub was very much like the drawings on the website. Heavy timber-frame, with mixes of half-timber infill, scale-shingle siding, and masonry. Mostly earth colors. The Pub commanded a view of the whole site from atop the hill, as the road wound up to it. I introduced myself, and the people outside told me to go on in. Every visible structure and material was hand-crafted. The heavy wooden door creaked as I opened it and went inside. There was a tavern bar on the right, tables and more public rooms on the left, and a fireplace hearth straight ahead.

“How can I help you?” the Bar Keep asked.

“Hi, im new here. My name is Tofu Lizard.” I said.

“Ah well, met. I am Drogo.” he said.

Drogo offered me a free drink of water in a goblet, with a flagon beside it, should I want more. He said that he was the architect and owner, besides acting as bar keeper. Drogo said he mostly manages the property, and other people usually work there. He generously offered me a job working at the Pub and as a field hand. SCOD would not pay me, but in exchange I got to live there for free, provided I worked my shifts, and I could still get tips and extra money on the side, if I sold my own crafts there.

*  [continued in Entry 6]

Tofu Lizard Memoir 04

Posted in Fictional Stories, Individuals / Members / Monsters / Creative Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 22, 2012 by Drogo

SCOD Journal of Tofu Lizard Entry  04

Walking along the Trail, I crossed the mountain known as Loudoun Heights and came to the Tri-State gas station. Across the highway traffic-light intersection there was an arch made of wood, metal, and stone. I remembered seeing a photo of it on the SCOD website; and as I approached I saw the letters embedded in the arch: S-C-O-D. This was it! This was the place! I walked through the gate and up the gravel road that was shaded by trees. A small stream ran along below on one side of the road. I passed several driveways for small woodland dwellings. At the crest of the hill I walked beside a farm field. The sun shone down on the freshly tilled soil. Along the perimeter of the field was a ring of green growth, and several dwellings connected by a fence. I remember learning from the website about how the fence and houses enclosed, protected, and tended the field. Each of the field houses and forest houses were unique in design. Each structure utilized the elements of nature in their own ways.

I waved to some people in the field, and they waved back, although they were busy in conversation. I knew I should check in at the main building, so I kept on the road. Soon I came upon a garden glen of ruins. It was a memory garden to a long gone building that had been destroyed in a fire, with tall chimneys. Now a blacksmith shop skirted one of the chimneys, and flowing gardens made terraces of the hulking foundation. I could have stayed there all day just meditating, but I pressed onward.

Finally I reached the Medieval Tavern. Otherwise known as “The Pipedream Pub”, it was the primary building. The Pub acted as town hall, barracks, bed & breakfast, inn, tavern, hotel, gift shop, stage, dance hall, bar, restaurant, residence, private club, gallery, library, tourist attraction, and visitor center. There were a few figures hanging out in the porch area, as I approached. One of them was a farmer, one was a biker, and one was in period garb.

*  [continued in Entry 5]

PDP SCOD Intro Cartoon

Posted in SCOD Pipedream Pub with tags , , , , , , , , , on May 8, 2011 by Drogo PDP SCOD Intro by drogo76


Like it? Create your own at It’s free and fun!

Pipe Dreams

Posted in SCOD Pipedream Pub with tags , , , , on April 21, 2011 by Drogo

The term “Pipe Dream” tends to mean either “Hollow Dream” or “Dream made of smoke, or from smoking a pipe”. I would suggest that dreams may often seem unrealistic or too fanciful, but that does not make them unworthy dreams. Even the oddest dreams can be goals for real projects. We use the term “Pipe Dream Pub” ironically aware of the negative connotations of the name. The fact that it may someday be achieved makes our use of the name sarcastic.

May people use the term “Pipe Dream” for various projects, businesses, and operations:

Public Radio Show “Pipedreams”  (first aired 1982)

Government Justice Department / Law Enforcement Program “Operation Pipe Dreams”

2011 January SCOD Notes

Posted in Alternative Architecture, Critical Commentary of Civilization, SCOD Thesis with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 6, 2011 by Drogo

January was the biggest month to date for SCOD Blog, with over 22,000 views just for that month (most months are much less).

“It is never too late to make ourselves better as individuals in response to problems we see, so long as we can.”

“In relation to Corporate Corruption and Politics of Pollution; i still think there are some that whether ‘responsible’ or irresponsible deserve blame and punishment, as long as there are crimes. Even if heaven is here and now by our making, remember free will according to Christianity will always allow for devils to wage war. Peace is good, but as a pagan i will always believe in self defense, and tough love for those not interested in harmony.”

“Some projects are more “sustainable” than others in various ways. One enduring factor about SCOD perhaps, is that my designs for it remain largely un-built, and therefore require much less maintenance and financing so long as they do remain hypothetical!!! I suppose it is similar to philosophies in that any incarnation of them will not be utopian for the mere fact that they are physical manifestations of the theoretical ideals; and most would agree with Plato on the difference between the physical world, and the archetypal.”

“Building is fun, and i do that as well as drawings and models. But as an architect i rarely have found more satisfaction with the process of getting things built, than i have just by myself dreaming of things. Although i must say that SCOD was based on the idea of simple and small, or at least to the scale of a few individuals being able to make shelter within a few years time without unbearble loans needed. The satisfaction from building comes mostly now on my own property, but mostly repair work (old house and gardens). I have always preferred building small things anyway, as im almost hobbit size to begin with. Hypothetical “pretty pictures” may not be enough compared to real shelter, but dreams may be better than half finished buildings that get abandoned or torn down. Bigger disappointments are felt when built structures and practiced ideas are deemed “failures”. Either way, i have tried to get them built, and could go on for hours about the efforts, and paradoxes of our current economic and political system. However i have not stopped dreaming, studying, and planning.”

“Also SCOD has fictional elements that come with designs no matter how mundane, a symbolism like the Lord of the Rings, that should never or can never be brought forth fully. But the other world of ideas is no less real, and both worlds play off of one another. There are many things built and to be built that will have some relation to SCOD.”

– Drogo about SCOD

SCOD Thesis 2000 Spiritual Phases

Posted in Cooperatives / Communities / Networks / Travels, Organic Agriculture & Horticulture with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 27, 2011 by Drogo

music by Shepherdstown Band:  BRUHA

PDP Comic Strip

Posted in Medieval Tavern with tags , , , , , , , , on July 20, 2010 by Drogo

PDP Comic Strip

PDP #1

Operation Ten COW (Summary)

Posted in Military with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 14, 2009 by Drogo

Ten Conscientious Objections to War

“A Peaceful Summary”

by Walton Danforth Stowell II

Submitted to the US ANG June 2008*

1)      Joining the Military

2)      War Profiteering History

3)      Military Industrial Complex

4)      Political Belligerence

5)      Postmodern Quagmire

6)      National Guard Patriotism

7)      Environmental Readiness

8)      Local Community Service

9)      Religious Commandments

10)   Leaving the Military


Common Questions & My Answers

CO Official Application & Letters of Support



* Published with the permission of the Author

** Links will be added as web pages are made for each section

*** Buy the Kindle Book of  Ten Conscientious Objections to War


Before I separated from US military service for reasons of personal conscience, I submitted a paper to the officers of my ANG base in Martinsburg, WV; which I later published as ‘Operation 10 COW’. My 10 conscientious objections to War were:

1. I object to contradictory contracts based on War propaganda.

2. I object to perpetual war profiteering quagmires.

3. I object to political ignorance and belligerence.

4. I object to corporate capitalist greed masked as freedom.

5. I object to modern military domination of civilian militia.

6. I object to War polluting our Environment.

7. I object to War ignoring Freedom and Civil Rights.

8. I object to War interfering with local community service.

9. I object to War in contrast to Ancient Wisdoms which have taught us for thousands of years not to kill other humans, but rather show compassion, and hold the Golden Rule highest.

10. I object to the ‘conflict and loyalty appeal’ of military service, which places slavery to War above the freedom of Peace.


SCOD Gallery Show for ‘Operation 10 COW’


Interview for Drogo Empedocles

Posted in Interviews with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 29, 2009 by Drogo

BEGIN INTERVIEW for Drogo Empedocles


1. Why did you start SCOD:


I started SCOD in order to have projects that I can do in life, directly relate to my friends and our common interests. It started with a few of us, and branched out from there. It is like the Round Table at Camelot in many ways, except everyone is more equal as King (or Queen) of their own lives and their own interests in SCOD. Members of SCOD, like at Camelot, were not always the same list of names. There were times when there was a lot of support, and times where no one showed up. The most important thing in both is faith in one’s own dedication to a common purpose.


2. Give some advice for anyone wanting to do what you have done:


Write things down, and be able to later access that writing to remind yourself. Do that and you are less likely to give up on your dreams. Also be hard on yourself more than others. If other people are being shitty and not cooperating, do something because you said you would, then if no one else comes through, at least you were true to yourself. Don’t be a fool trusting people who don’t follow through, but if someone lets you down but really wants to make amends, give them a few tries. Try to make things work without selling all rights to the property (metaphor).


3. How do you view “Sustainability” in what you do?


There are different aspects to that popular term. In architecture Sustainability usually means a structure built to last, and refers to it’s permanence. However Sustainability can also be judged by the structure’s impact on Nature and Ecology. If a building lasts forever but poisons the environment, then it is not a Sustainable habitat for life around it. Therefore sometimes a temporary structure built from renewable materials that bio-degrade is more Sustainable.


4. What is your opinion of “Cooperatives”?


Cooperatives are related to neighborhoods, communities, socialism, communism, and many work situations. Collectives of human beings and other animals, working and/or living together as functionally as possible for the common good. Jesus did it, so it must be a good thing, right?


5. How important is “Organic” design in your life, as opposed to simple mechanical design? For example in the food you eat, buildings you live in, and work you do…


Very important. I love organic things, maybe because I am organic.

6. Do you have any other plans for future “Development” of these or any other goals?





Thank you, Blessed Be.


SCOD STAR Self-Assessments

Posted in Cooperatives / Communities / Networks / Travels, Organic Development with tags , , , , on November 17, 2009 by Drogo

This study was based on the US military “go learn” application for on-the-job training. The STAR system can be applied to any job to determine and plan for project task objectives.  It is to be used after brainstorming, to further clarify basic ideas, and lead to conclusions and results.

STAR = Situation, Task, Activity, and Result


*** SCOD Pipedream Pub / Medieval Tavern ***

Situations: various organic individuals and ideas relating to SCOD and PDP

Tasks: individual research and projects become shared

Activities: Regular monthly meetings to discuss progress

Results: Applied knowledge physically executed


*** SCOD Designs ***

S:  develop various designs for theory, properties & clients

T:  sketching, drawing, drafting, and rendering many designs

A:  active communication among members and sharing with others who are interested

R:  in order to at least understand ideas through design, and at best more help and active members interested in furthering the designs in many ways


*** SCOD Studying ***

S: learning and remembering subjects during free time

T: to be able to readily communicate with members, new and old information

A: reading, listening, observing, and replicating or repeating

R: economic, political, and social sciences advanced and applied


The Last Battle

Posted in Fictional Stories with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 3, 2009 by Drogo

The following is an account of the last story written about The Land of Mon. It is also perhaps our only remaining tale of that World. The originals written and drawn by Sir Mongold were lost to us. This journal, entry by entry, records the last surviving tale of  the Monstors.

To avoid social persecution, Sir Mongold told others that he had “made it up” and Monstors were all imaginary. Yet stories held in memory or recorded, all exist at some point in time. Time is eternal, beyond human memory, therefore nothing is forgotten. Things remembered are real, even if they only exist in thought.

Part 1

“Attack!!!” could be heard for miles around as a squad of Distructors destroyed the Great Woven Wall. The attack was led by the cold hearted Bird Mon. The Distructors’ heavily armored battering ram pounded against the wall like a mallet beating fresh meat. Quickly the Distructors disposed of the Treeple’s ‘Great’ wall, with fury.

While inside their Tree Village, the Treeple lit signal cannons. From atop the forest canopy the signal flares shot! Help would soon be on the way, but not soon enough. The Leader of the Treeple, T, had already fallen defending the Great Woven Wall.

“Show me where the Jewels of the Light Forest are!” Bird Mon said as he lifted T from the remains of the broken wall.

“You shall get nothing from me, Bird that cannot fly!” was the reply of T.

“Not all Birds can fly, you know!” Bird Mon shot back. He was self-conscious about his lack of wings. He did however, have a long pointy beak, which was good for pecking.

Before the Distructors could locate any of the Treeple treasure they had come to pillage, the Monstors arrived from Castle Monstoria, to the rescue. The Treeple were allies of the Monstors. Bird Mon turned to retreat. Just then Whip Mon and 5 other Monstors burst into the clearing and surrounded the Distructors.

“We came for the Jewels, Whip Mon!” said Bird Mon. “If you move, I’ll kill T.”

“You bad guys are all the same!” Whip Mon said as he came closer. “I bet you don’t even realize how important the Jewels are.”

“Are you saying that I don’t know how important the Jewels are?” Bird Mon said as anger filled his tone.

“Yes. It is important to know how important the Jewels are,” said Whip Mon.

“Why is it so important?”

“Hah, I told you, you didn’t know the jewels were important!”

“I know the Jewels are important, I just didn’t know how important the Jewels were important!!” Bird Mon was getting confused.

“If you didn’t know how important the Jewels were, why did you come here in the first place??!!”

As the conversation went on, Distructor Hammer Head slipped away. He headed toward the great doors of an oak tree nearby. He opened the doors, and behold!! This was where the Jewels were kept. In a 50 by 50 foot room sat shelves and shelves covered with jewels of all kinds!! The Jewels sparkled with magic light within the tree. In the corner was even a jewel embroidered chainmail shirt. In the middle of the room, placed on a golden stand, sat the Jewel of Power! Next to it, on a silver stand was the All-mighty Diamond. Near that on a crystal stand lay the Amber Amulet.

Hammer Head was so stunned by the beauty of the gems he didn’t notice Blow Torch sneaking up behind him. The Monstor Blow Torch grabbed him and said, “Ok Cardboard Box Brain, you’ve seen enough! Let’s go see the Whip Mon.”

Meanwhile Whip Mon was still mentally flailing Bird Mon’s brain…

“If you came to find out how important the Jewels are important, how come you didn’t bring Fox Mon along?! He could learn a thing or two.”

By this time Bird Mon was just absurdly mad. Bird Mon broke his own weapon in two. Then he went around and took the other Distructors’ weapons and snapped them like twigs. His men stared at him, and then eachother blankly. It was then that Bird Mon realized they were now defenseless.

The Distructors were soon tied up (including Hammer Head). They were submitted to Treeple speeches, which were usually long and about environmental spiritual ethics. Then the captives were released to walk back to Spider Tower in their underwear.


“Bird Mon, you fool!!” Fox Mon shouted, echoing through the halls of Spider Tower.

Bird Mon looked down his beak at his own feet. He was home, and that was all that mattered. Bird Mon grew up in the lair once known as Spider Mountain. Over the years, a tower was built on the rocky crest, and battered pyramid parapet walls extended out from the mountain castle on 3 sides. Locals knew it as Spi, a name too familiar to be used respectfully by strangers to the area.

“Bird Mon, you always mess things up!” Fox Mon yelled. “I should feed you to the spiders! The new batch has just hatched.”

“Bu bu u u…” Bird Mon studdered, “I am still training them not to bite us.”

“Ha! Go put some clothes on your undergarments, or I will use you to help fatten them up. Although they are still small for giant spiders, there are 100 of them. Now off you go! I will prepare for the next attack on the Monstoria.”


All creatures in the Land of Mon, were Mon. Monstors, monstars, and monsters were all Mon. Monstors and monstars were good, and monsters were bad; but they were all Mon, and therefore looked very similar to eachother. Most Mon had green skin, but there was great diversity among Mons. Some had horns, some did not. No eyes, one eye, or many eyes; arms or tentacles; there was no rule about appearance. All Mon were free to look any way, without judgment.

The Monstors of the Kingdom of Monstoria were the guardians of Good Stories, and the stewards of all things within their realm. Their realm included the Light Forest & Light Fields (Monstaria), all of which was surrounded by the Dark Forest, Dark Fields, and outlying kingdoms (Monsteria). In ancient times Distructors were Monstors, but after years of separation, and living in Monsteria, they had become generally grouped with all chaotic Monsters.

One such outlying kingdom of Monsters, Bog, was home to the Swamp Mons. From their murky depths, they had heard distant warnings hanging in the silence. Swamp Mons cared nothing for noise, they only found meaning in the sounds of silence. What the silence was now telling them, was very disturbing; and they began to travel out.

The Treeple were rebuilding their Great Wall. They would never again let their lair be invaded by Distructors. They added masonry to the new weaving, and placed battlements to watch for enemies. The new Great Wall was now 4 feet tall, and 1 foot thick.


Back at Spider Tower, plans were being made. “Here’s the plans,” Fox Mon said. “Dragon Mon, go into the Dark Forest and search for the Freckled Ogre. See if he wants to join us. Hammer Head, ready the lightning sleds. Bird Mon, go ask Rock Mon if he wants to join us too. I will contact the Giant Worms of the East. Everyone get ready!”

Within hours, another gathering was held. “Ok, we have everyone here,” Fox Mon said. “Attention maggots! I will take Hammer Head, the Freckled Ogre, the spiders, and half our army. Giant Worms will take a direct route and chew out the roots of Monstaria, and the foundations of Monstoria. Bird Mon will go north along the Treeple Great Wall with Dragon Mon, Rock Mon, and the other half of our army.”

The Distructors set out in full force, with Fox Mon’s blessings. “Worms, go and seek the roots Monstaria and foundations of Monstoria! Lightning sleds off, my army move, Dragon Mon and Bird Mon good luck! Onward to battle!!! Do not stop until Monstoria is destroyed!! Let this be the Last Battle!!!” Fox Mon howled.

News had reached the Monstors and Monstars of the Distructors’ attack. The Monstors assembled their own army. From Monstaria they had Treeple, unicorns, song birds, sprites, treelves, fairies, nomes, nobleflies, damselflies, and logmon. There was also talk that Swamp Mons and Great Hawks would join them, but that was uncertain.

Swamp Mons were immortal, and all shared the same soul. The Soul of the Swamp was communal among them, so the total population count could never be known. Swamp Mons were part of the primordial ooze that all Mon evolved from. For the most part they were chaotic neutral, but in cases of defending the ecosystem they were lawful neutral.

Great Hawks were giant red tailed hawks. They perched on the giant black trees that surrounded Talon Mountain. Also along the cliffs of the mountain, were ledges with Giant Hawk nests. Inside Talon Mountain, the great birds had a great hall, with a chief.

Along the outermost city wall of Monstaria, the Monstors’ army lined up. Whip Mon was not a slave driver, but he kept order among individuals for the greater good. He would not allow a siege to occur, and he would not give control to Fox Mon and the Distructors without a fight. Many Monstars like treevles, treeple, and nomes rode on the backs of unicorns, and other larger or faster beasts. Much of the army could fly, thanks to sprites, fairies, flying bugs, and some Monstors.

[End of Part 1]

[To read the full story, buy my Kindle book “Stories of Fiction, Fantasy, and Adventure” (coming in 2010)]