Archive for relations

Polyamory: Expanding Love

Posted in Psychology, relationships, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , on July 2, 2017 by Drogo

Polyamorous Definition of Love: To me polyamory is a belief that people can love more than one person, while working to not let jealousy ruin friendship based relations with a core of love. Sexuality, romance, and other more intimate types of love are secondary to the core belief in love for others (-poly does not just mean many, it more fundamentally means three or more).

Much Love, Love of Many

Love; It is all about the Love! Do it for the love.

Love yourself, love your work, and love others.

Take care, give care, and share care!!!

I live Life to Love, passionately expressed through my art. My art includes my drawing, writing, playing, or gardening. My art is a way of loving myself, the subject, and the audience; this kind of love has something to do with willingness to share.

The theory of Unconditional Love is ‘to give is to receive’. Giving love away to others freely, expands our capacity for love and makes us feel good with empathy. Infinite abundance is also an important concept with Unconditional Love, as though we are fountains overflowing with endless compassion. Everyone gains when we truly love ourselves and others. ‘Love is letting go of fear’, as the book by the same name says. Anger about abuse is of course a reason to place limits on love.

Historic gender roles and traditional marriage have often hindered social acceptance of polyamory in many ways legally and religiously. Gay rights and sexual freedoms are polyamorous natural human rights, for those that respect the love of others.

Many people normally do not think about how other people make art, because they have cultural barriers to ‘over-standing’ (as Rastas say) other modes of thought. There is a saying: ‘happy people do not have the best of everything, they make the best of everything they have’. I believe in Love, and it

can be indeed, all we need for happiness (thriving in community).

“All we need is Love, Love is all we need!” – The Beatles

“Compassion is the ultimate source of success in life.” – Dalai Lama

“We still talk about LOVE in much the same way as the ancients described the effect that the ‘will of the gods’ had on the human psyche (which led to problems).” – Professor Holland

The Greeks saw any human problems as being made by gods, even problems of love; things that we do that seem beyond our own control. Love is the best kind of madness and self-delusion. ‘Romance and Tragedy’ are intertwined; chaotic passion leads to inevitable loss, like in “Romeo & Juliet” by Shakespeare. However ‘Romance and Comedy’ are combined in many other scripts, showing that ludicrous lust can win happiness. Love can bring us much happiness and sorrow; comedy and tragedy.

Ok, how about other emotions or moods that are related to Love? At SCAD one of my fellow class-mates, an African-American brother, got jazzed about ‘Tranquility’ and the ‘Blues’. He literally was designing using soothing shapes and cool blue colors. It would be wonderful to have the power to instantly be with loved ones, always have their full attention when you want it, and care about the same things at the same time. It would be a constant miracle if we never felt bad, and always agreed on everything. When we care less about disagreements, we can cease wanting to argue about every syllable. Common patterns of argumentative dialog can lead easily to abuse. Initial attraction is not a good reason to want to live with someone.

To decide if someone is really good for a long-term relationship, it is proven by them actually communicating or being with you, and wanting to be with you while they are with you. The long-term relationship test can be shown through friendship, or by their other ‘more than friend’ skills. Friendship is the best basis for any relationship; business, sexual, or anything.

To try to suss-out rationally if some-one has potential with you, you have to discuss issues, and figure out logically (without emotion) if the other person follows through on what they say. At what point is love mutual; when people are moody, have periods of ill communication, and go through phases? This process of relating to others takes years, which creates a relationship during a certain amount of time; experience shows that one relationship is not reliable as a predictable model.

Most relationships are people just thrown directly into intense emotions and living conditions together, for perceived convenience and loneliness; with-out evaluating planning, education, or training. Many people will never be ‘in the mood’ to know what friendship means and build strong friendships that partners deserve. Partners should want to speak to each-other, as they would like to be spoken to; and they should want interaction every day and night; and yet some how also be ok when they are apart for any period of time. Is it too much to ask?

Abuse is one of the common social problems that happens all too often. So many business partners and lovers abuse each-other, because they are not really friends; they do not know that to be friends you have to really like the other person enough to not hate them. Learning how to be good friends is not intuitive for everyone, but can be taught. I have always felt uneasy about making decisions about communication based on my impressions of what their words and behaviors mean. People think that being friends in a relationship is less important than romantic relationships or living together; because of the perceived social value of monogamy. If you want to trust another person sexually, being friendly is a good start. To live together well, or to do good business, friendship is very important.

Relationships

There are many kinds of relationships. Traditional terms are misleading, so we are making new terms to define the complexity of relationships. ‘Single’ does not mean available or lonely. ‘Taken’ implies that relationships are only of a possessive kind, and that there is a normal standard all must obey. Relationships have never all worked only one way. Anyone can love many people, even simultaneously in the larger concept of the word.

Gentleness, Time, and Patience

These three blessings are important to heal the soul from wounds inflicted by bad relationships. Tenderness and vulnerability are aspects of love, that can be confused with weakness when given willingly, even from a position of power. Time heals, it is the waiting that can be a vicious bitch of pain and agony. talk about; and if you can find a way to appreciate what they like, then you can have a way of relating to them; vis-a-vis relations with them, which are needed for relationships.

Still further, if you can actually support and provide them with what they like in some ways; then every communication you have with them, even disappointing ones, will be backed and infused by a relationship of love. This kind of healthy co-dependence is not always possible with everyone, for many reasons. One of the strangest components of social division happens when one person’s food, medicine, practices or interests are considered poisonous by another.

My love comes from when i was very depressed and heart-broken years ago, and my female friends that love me taught me how to love the Goddess, like priestesses. When immersed in blissful love, the Goddess is a metaphor for caring about people despite any-thing else. Loving the concept of Goddess means being able to set aside problems with individuals, regardless of my relation to them, in order to function and have a desire to live life, not end it.


Selling or giving your mind and body to the service of another, is not just confined to prostitution or marriage; and when it is truly willing nor is it confined to slavery. Mythology about ‘soul selling’ also implies some kind of immortal permanence, but in reality the suggestion is symbolic, since we do not have more sight or power than the Fates, and the Devil is a lesser god at best. A great boss, mentor, and friend of mine was an Engineer named John. He had incredible jovial wisdom, and he said “we all prostitute ourselves in one way or another.” There are many types of relationships, and some-times they over-lap.

Enjoying art is similar to not allowing jealousy to ruin a relationship. It is not only ok to love your own work, but it is good to enjoy the art of others, as though it were your own; because it is loving and not jealous. Love is a good thing, when you don’t let all the shit get in the way. Heal from heart-break; don’t let hate destroy you, or ruin love. Love yourself, and love others as yourself. Love your-self, not in narcissism, but in peace and joy. Love yourself with a kind of nurturing that allows and promotes happiness and real love of others.

*

“It is not our purpose to become each other; it is to recognize each other, to learn to see the other and honor him for what he is: each the other’s opposite and complement.” – Hermann Hesse

Respectful Love

Love is when I am concerned with your relationship with your own life,

rather than with your relationship to mine.” – Stewart Emery

It is possible to build a new civilization centered on love and life.” – Pope Francis 2001-2010

HF Prophecy 420

The Sun and the Moon love you, and you are them.

Damentalists will suffer from their own belief in Sin.

Progressives journey to the Moon and love that it is free.

Green Local produce grows on the far side of the reflection.

When I love the Sun & Moon, I am loving you and me.

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Patriarchy vs Matriarchy

Posted in Critical Commentary of Civilization, Military, Philosophy, Religions, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 6, 2017 by Drogo

My thoughts on why Feminism and Hermes/Aphrodite rights are so critical today –

I believe there are many types of relationships, friendship being most important. I tend to find that males can usually handle aggression better than females because of testosterone, but with gender such statements are of course generalizations. I do think that civilization has operated on the chemical and role differences in militaries and most power systems, allowing men to dominate politics and religion as well. Predatory Capitalism also seems based on competitive aggression more than compassionate sympathy. These patriarchal power structures may be why cultures tend to be so homophobic; as to admit to feminine ‘weaknesses’ like love and care are vulnerabilities that opponents can use against us. I think many of our problems in the World today are a result of our inability to place humanitarian leaders in power, that would balance the lop-sided ‘titanic’ systemic dynamic that has perpetuated demagogues over democracy.

Thoughts on Collaboration

Posted in Cooperatives / Communities / Networks / Travels, Services, Sales or Trade, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , on July 16, 2016 by Drogo

When cooperating with a friend on a project, if they say that they cannot do something a certain way, you can try to negotiate or take time to understand what they are talking about; or else just let them do it their way, and try to be less egotistical about it in the end. Usually most people hold resentment, as though their vision incarnate in an alternate reality would have been better than the real result.

Relations are like tests, the way they are written and graded is at least as important as the way they are taken. When taking the test we may feel we are doing well or failing, but the final grade may be the opposite of what you thought it would be. This risk does not mean the test is not worth taking. Retests may be available, but are often optional. As many times as we take a test, higher scores may not be possible.

In the dance of relations, whether business or friends, find out what will work to facilitate trade, then do it with confident trust. Those that break faith, substantially determine the length of the dance. Less will-power, less dance. Too much egotistic selfishness and the dance will end badly, it takes balance to sustain the dance and desire to dance well.

Work with people that honestly love you AND what you bring to the project. If you get the sense that you appreciate their stuff more than they appreciate yours, be very cautious as they can turn on you due to selfish egotism. Confidence is arrogance when it ultimately ignores friendship for selfish pride. If their selfishness trumps their concern and interest of you, stop working with them asap*. Despite the popular saying “do not mix business and pleasure (friendship)”, and advice that goes along with it due to bad experiences, friends (I mean the best kind of friends) are actually the best people to have partnerships with, provided things are fairly equal or at least good-will based and more pleasure is had by the exchanges, than regret. Some of us prefer to work with ones that love us, because they understand and respect our limitations and gifts; and still want to include us in their lives and projects.

On Living and Working Together – (see main article)

When part of most days are spent doing things with each-other, we should realize it is a partner relationship, and it is very important to evaluate functionality and success whether the goal is just happiness or a project. You cannot really understand who people are, unless you have serious lengthy interactions; and if you cannot spend hours with each-other, pushing, pulling, and in silence, then just realize you do not really know them well enough for major partnership decisions. Even when you have lived with another, which is even harder than long distance, there are things about them which will not make sense to you. It is only through meditation on the shared living experiences and communications, comparing and contrasting ideas and results, words and actions, good and bad feelings, can we have a real basis for knowing if who they are works with who you are sustainably enough to live happily together. This is not to say that anyone is perfectly good to themselves or others all the time, but we can only know relative to our own experiences and wisdom. Desire to do something with partners cannot be so selfish it excludes them; we succeed or fail together with group projects.

Facebook has made it clear to me, that text messages (no matter how personal), are not a true substitute for the kind of testing that must be done in person eventually. However, less challenging communication you have, the less prepared you will be to handle each-other when the hardest tests come. The best indicator that you cannot work together, is if both people harbor more resentment than love consistently.

* ps – get at least one second opinion about what you think they are being selfish about, and if you can have a long personal conversation about it with your partner… DO IT!!! If it is clear that they really do not care about your feelings or they don’t care about your well-being, then take steps as soon as possible to end the relations and cease working on anything related to them.