Archive for relationships

Friendship Is A Relationship

Posted in Cooperative collaboration, relationships, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , on February 12, 2019 by Drogo

Friendship is a type of relationship. So when people say they just want to be friends and not lovers, they should realize that being friends is still a type of relationship. Friendship is like a bubble balance of the space between us; too much space and it stretches thin, too little space and pressure shrinks it. Everyone is different in every combination, decide what feels right to you, and if someone else does not feel right, then it will not feel right to you.

relation-ships

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Round Table vs Owning ‘Equals’

Posted in relationships, Religions, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 17, 2018 by Drogo

This essay was inspired by my love of King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table.

Round_Table

Main lessons of Arthurian Legends = Round Table: Good, Violence over Jealousy: Bad.

One of the stories within the legends focused on the Arthur, Guinevere, and Lancelot love triangle as being ‘doomed’ by its very nature; a tragic assumption which I hope to show is just the wrong way to learn from the past. It is easy for a testosterone bully or romance junky to say “the main lesson is to be faithful to the laws of marriage and the Bible, and never ‘cheat’ or ‘take’ another man’s wife”. Monogamy terms of possession are worth entire essays alone, but should envy itself truly always lead to misfortune? Celtic sensibility and wisdom of the Goddess argues against such immature interpretations. In our youth, we may be forgiven such hormonal and primal envy, but as adults we should be more considerate about the meaning of Love.

Christian culture has viewed women as possessions, and loyalty in marriage to be based entirely on spouses ‘owning’ each-other’s bodies and hearts. Owning hearts, minds, and bodies until death has often been a form of self-imposed but culturally encouraged and enforced slavery (certainly there have been blissfully happy mutual slaves that lead fairy-tale romance lives without much fighting or if there was tons it was worth it). Fidelity of monogamy often infamously leads to immoral behavior such as fits of rage and violence against people who are considered objects of jealousy. Property rights over people as cause for war was infamous in Homer’s ‘Iliad’ (Fall of Troy), and this illogical false justice has been perpetually mistaken as righteous wrath even by adults ever since.

Promises we make to each-other probably should be more attuned to who we are as people, and respect reasonable individual tendencies and realistic expectations based on natural desires and evolving social ethics. Possessing someone’s heart or even shared holding of bodily space, is not the same as ownership.

Friendship is the best basis for any relations. Can’t we all just get along? Some will always say “no”, and good luck to those making the best of things no matter the labels.

Owning Others as Partners or Parents

Posted in relationships, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 6, 2018 by Drogo

Saying that a loved one is “yours” may not be the exact same as most forms of slavery, but that mentality does have serious and dangerous problems. i stand by my conviction that possession of people leads to violence and abuse. People can seem totally in love owning eachother, until one doesnt want to be owned anymore by the other; then the concept of “you are mine” becomes psychotic. i know because ive felt those emotions, and ive witnessed others acting insane due to those feelings; most of us have as it is part of popular culture. Ownership of children is another problematic aspect of culture that has allowed for countless cases of abuse or neglect of all kinds. Letting go of this attitude is much easier said than done. Obviously there are positive aspects to this kind of attachment and co-dependency; such as defending or supporting one’s partner. Feelings of responsibility for helping other people should never go away entirely, as it is an important part of human relations and society, but our current cultural problems are related to individual civil rights.

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Polyamory: Expanding Love

Posted in Psychology, relationships, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , on July 2, 2017 by Drogo

Polyamorous Definition of Love: To me polyamory is a belief that people can love more than one person, while working to not let jealousy ruin friendship based relations with a core of love. Sexuality, romance, and other more intimate types of love are secondary to the core belief in love for others (-poly can mean many, but literally just means 3 or more).

Much Love, Love of Many

Love; It is all about the Love! Do it for the love.

Love yourself, love your work, and love others.

Take care, give care, and share care!!!

I live Life to Love, passionately expressed through my art. My art includes my drawing, writing, playing, or gardening. My art is a way of loving myself, the subject, and the audience; this kind of love has something to do with willingness to share.

The theory of Unconditional Love is ‘to give is to receive’. Giving love away to others freely, expands our capacity for love and makes us feel good with empathy. Infinite abundance is also an important concept with Unconditional Love, as though we are fountains overflowing with endless compassion. Everyone gains when we truly love ourselves and others. ‘Love is letting go of fear’, as the book by the same name says. Anger about abuse is of course a reason to place limits on love.

Historic gender roles and traditional marriage have often hindered social acceptance of polyamory in many ways legally and religiously. Gay rights and sexual freedoms are polyamorous natural human rights, for those that respect the love of others.

Many people normally do not think about how other people make art, because they have cultural barriers to ‘over-standing’ (as Rastas say) other modes of thought. There is a saying: ‘happy people do not have the best of everything, they make the best of everything they have’. I believe in Love, and it can be indeed, all we need for happiness (thriving in community).

“All we need is Love, Love is all we need!” – The Beatles

“Compassion is the ultimate source of success in life.” – Dalai Lama

“We still talk about LOVE in much the same way as the ancients described the effect that the ‘will of the gods’ had on the human psyche (which led to problems).” – Professor Holland

The Greeks saw any human problems as being made by gods, even problems of love; things that we do that seem beyond our own control. Love is the best kind of madness and self-delusion. ‘Romance and Tragedy’ are intertwined; chaotic passion leads to inevitable loss, like in “Romeo & Juliet” by Shakespeare. However ‘Romance and Comedy’ are combined in many other scripts, showing that ludicrous lust can win happiness. Love can bring us much happiness and sorrow; comedy and tragedy.

Ok, how about other emotions or moods that are related to Love? At SCAD one of my fellow class-mates, an African-American brother, got jazzed about ‘Tranquility’ and the ‘Blues’. He literally was designing using soothing shapes and cool blue colors. It would be wonderful to have the power to instantly be with loved ones, always have their full attention when you want it, and care about the same things at the same time. It would be a constant miracle if we never felt bad, and always agreed on everything. When we care less about disagreements, we can cease wanting to argue about every syllable. Common patterns of argumentative dialog can lead easily to abuse. Initial attraction is not a good reason to want to live with someone.

To decide if someone is really good for a long-term relationship, it is proven by them actually communicating or being with you, and wanting to be with you while they are with you. The long-term relationship test can be shown through friendship, or by their other ‘more than friend’ skills. Friendship is the best basis for any relationship; business, sexual, or anything.

To try to suss-out rationally if some-one has potential with you, you have to discuss issues, and figure out logically (without emotion) if the other person follows through on what they say. At what point is love mutual; when people are moody, have periods of ill communication, and go through phases? This process of relating to others takes years, which creates a relationship during a certain amount of time; experience shows that one relationship is not reliable as a predictable model.

Most relationships are people just thrown directly into intense emotions and living conditions together, for perceived convenience and loneliness; with-out evaluating planning, education, or training. Many people will never be ‘in the mood’ to know what friendship means and build strong friendships that partners deserve. Partners should want to speak to each-other, as they would like to be spoken to; and they should want interaction every day and night; and yet some how also be ok when they are apart for any period of time. Is it too much to ask?

Abuse is one of the common social problems that happens all too often. So many business partners and lovers abuse each-other, because they are not really friends; they do not know that to be friends you have to really like the other person enough to not hate them. Learning how to be good friends is not intuitive for everyone, but can be taught. I have always felt uneasy about making decisions about communication based on my impressions of what their words and behaviors mean. People think that being friends in a relationship is less important than romantic relationships or living together; because of the perceived social value of monogamy. If you want to trust another person sexually, being friendly is a good start. To live together well, or to do good business, friendship is very important.

Relationships

There are many kinds of relationships. Traditional terms are misleading, so we are making new terms to define the complexity of relationships. ‘Single’ does not mean available or lonely. ‘Taken’ implies that relationships are only of a possessive kind, and that there is a normal standard all must obey. Relationships have never all worked only one way. Anyone can love many people, even simultaneously in the larger concept of the word.

relation-ships

Gentleness, Time, and Patience

These three blessings are important to heal the soul from wounds inflicted by bad relationships. Tenderness and vulnerability are aspects of love, that can be confused with weakness when given willingly, even from a position of power. Time heals, it is the waiting that can be a vicious bitch of pain and agony. talk about; and if you can find a way to appreciate what they like, then you can have a way of relating to them; vis-a-vis relations with them, which are needed for relationships.

Still further, if you can actually support and provide them with what they like in some ways; then every communication you have with them, even disappointing ones, will be backed and infused by a relationship of love. This kind of healthy co-dependence is not always possible with everyone, for many reasons. One of the strangest components of social division happens when one person’s food, medicine, practices or interests are considered poisonous by another.

My love comes from when i was very depressed and heart-broken years ago, and my female friends that love me taught me how to love the Goddess, like priestesses. When immersed in blissful love, the Goddess is a metaphor for caring about people despite any-thing else. Loving the concept of Goddess means being able to set aside problems with individuals, regardless of my relation to them, in order to function and have a desire to live life, not end it.

Self-Love is the best gift of all, because when it is not selfish it attracts others.

Self-Love can avoid narcissism by its sharing and healing capacity.


Selling or giving your mind and body to the service of another, is not just confined to prostitution or marriage; and when it is truly willing nor is it confined to slavery. Mythology about ‘soul selling’ also implies some kind of immortal permanence, but in reality the suggestion is symbolic, since we do not have more sight or power than the Fates, and the Devil is a lesser god at best. A great boss, mentor, and friend of mine was an Engineer named John. He had incredible jovial wisdom, and he said “we all prostitute ourselves in one way or another.” There are many types of relationships, and some-times they over-lap.

Enjoying art is similar to not allowing jealousy to ruin a relationship. It is not only ok to love your own work, but it is good to enjoy the art of others, as though it were your own; because it is loving and not jealous. Love is a good thing, when you don’t let all the shit get in the way. Heal from heart-break; don’t let hate destroy you, or ruin love. Love yourself, and love others as yourself. Love your-self, not in narcissism, but in peace and joy. Love yourself with a kind of nurturing that allows and promotes happiness and real love of others.

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“It is not our purpose to become each other; it is to recognize each other, to learn to see the other and honor him for what he is: each the other’s opposite and complement.”              – Hermann Hesse

Respectful Love

Love is when I am concerned with your relationship with your own life,

rather than with your relationship to mine.” – Stewart Emery

It is possible to build a new civilization centered on love and life.” – Pope Francis 2001-2010

HF Prophecy 420

The Sun and the Moon love you, and you are them.

Damentalists will suffer from their own belief in Sin.

Progressives journey to the Moon and love that it is free.

Green Local produce grows on the far side of the reflection.

When I love the Sun & Moon, I am loving you and me.

Patriarchy vs Matriarchy

Posted in Critical Commentary of Civilization, Military, Philosophy, Religions, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 6, 2017 by Drogo

My thoughts on why Feminism and Hermes/Aphrodite rights are so critical today –

I believe there are many types of relationships, friendship being most important. I tend to find that males can usually handle aggression better than females because of testosterone, but with gender such statements are of course generalizations. I do think that civilization has operated on the chemical and role differences in militaries and most power systems, allowing men to dominate politics and religion as well. Predatory Capitalism also seems based on competitive aggression more than compassionate sympathy. These patriarchal power structures may be why cultures tend to be so homophobic; as to admit to feminine ‘weaknesses’ like love and care are vulnerabilities that opponents can use against us. I think many of our problems in the World today are a result of our inability to place humanitarian leaders in power, that would balance the lop-sided ‘titanic’ systemic dynamic that has perpetuated demagogues over democracy.

Alternative Marriages

Posted in Critical Commentary of Civilization, Pagan with tags , , , , , , , , , , on August 10, 2012 by Drogo

Some of us were individual adults when we married other independent adults. There are many types of working partnerships that are all called marriages out there. Just because some of us do not wear rings, or otherwise advertise our relationships by changing our names etc… does not make our marriages any less significant to us.

I do not give other people a hard time if they are married and do not tell just because i was talking to them, or if they dont have a ring on or whatever. There are many different people, and different types of marriages that work differently for those people. Some people have open marriages, or are swingers, etc… marriage has many aspects to it, in its broadest sense its about a special partnership. My wife and I are very content being ourselves, for example i did not make her take my last name, because i respected her family i wanted her to keep her name.

One interesting historic fact that sometimes people forget, is that marriage existed long before Christianity, and was not even accepted by the Church until later on. So Christianity does not own Marriage. Even today other religions, and people of no religions get married, and not all of the vows are the same. Even coming from a liberal family, I often was surprised to learn about the diverse reality of even conventional marriages, never-mind finding out about alternative relationships! I remember the first time I realized two people of the same sex often live with each-other as a partnered couple; and realizing how that was ok because they were happy in their relationships. Other times when I was single and lonely, I found myself occasionally jealous of people in relationships, and had to deal with my negative emotions. These feelings of ignorance and jealousy are natural, I just think we should address them and be aware of the reality and what we think.

As a pagan priest, I do realize there are some conventional people that cannot understand this concept of alternative marriages, to which I can only say do what makes you happy, so long as it does not hurt others, and do not judge others by false standards.