from Mad Magazine’s “Violent Mother Goose”
*
THIS IS THE FILM THAT JACK MADE
This is the girl who’s blown away
Whose in the film that Jack made
This is the creep who stalks his prey
Who blasts the girl whose blown away
Who’s in the film that Jack made
This is the ax that splits the head
That’s swung by the creep who stalks his prey
Who blasts the girl whose blown away
Who’s in the film that Jack made
This is dude who winds up dead
From getting the ax that splits the head
That’s swung by the creep who stalks his prey
Who blasts the girl whose blown away
Who’s in the film that Jack made
This is the Salesman from Omaha
Who calls on the dude who winds up dead
From getting the ax that splits the head
That’s swung by the creep who stalks his prey
Who blasts the girl whose blown away
Who’s in the film that Jack made
This is the handy electric saw
That slices the Salesman from Omaha
Who calls on the dude who winds up dead
From getting the ax that splits the head
That’s swung by the creep who stalks his prey
Who blasts the girl whose blown away
Who’s in the film that Jack made
This is the carnage of blood and gore
That’s made by the handy electric saw
That slices the Salesman from Omaha
Who calls on the dude who winds up dead
From getting the ax that splits the head
That’s swung by the creep who stalks his prey
Who blasts the girl whose blown away
Who’s in the film that Jack made
These are the profits of bucks galore
That come from the carnage of blood and gore
That’s made by the handy electric saw
That slices the Salesman from Omaha
Who calls on the dude who winds up dead
From getting the ax that splits the head
That’s swung by the creep who stalks his prey
Who blasts the girl whose blown away
Who’s in the film that Jack made
*
On the Way to Saint Ives
As I was going to Saint Ives,
I met a man with seven knives
49 hand grenades,
343 razor blades,
2,401 axes…
Axes, blades, grenades, and knives;
How many different ways to die?
*
Jack Sprat
Jack Sprat can swing his bat
his wife can spray her mace;
he’ll smack her hard
when she’s off-guard;
she’ll spritz him in the face.
Jack Sprat is knocked out flat,
his wife the worst of sights,
though bitter foes
at least it shows
they’re into equal rights.
*